The Big Tent prompt this week was to write a poem inspired by your own favourite poem. I have two favourite poems, learned at school: Wilfred Owen’s Anthem For Doomed Youth and Dulce Et Decorum Est. Here’s a bit of the first one (we’re not supposed to post the whole thing because of copyright issues):
What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles’ rapid rattle
I love how that third line sounds like the guns it describes when you read it aloud.
I wrote this one a while back, in protest at the underfunding of the British military. I haven’t tried to emulate Owen’s brilliance; just used it as a starting point for my own view:
Afghan Anthem
Bullets sing the soldier’s
last rites; road mines
play his death march.
Soldiers die, they shrug.
Newspapers cry –
for a day, a week.
Families lament each
neglected death,
each unremembered anniversary,
as unelected men decline
to sign cheques, and
soldiers die.
I really must read the war poets! You have written a fine commentary on circumstances that in their own way probably plagued Owen’s war every bit as much; decisions made by men divorced from the front line.
You really should read the war poets. Everybody should!
Pieces that shed light on issues rank among my favorites. Thank you for giving voice to the issue.
~Brenda
I write a lot of issue poems but it’s amazing how many people dislike them (in general).
Strong words, strong emotions, strong poem, stronger challenge, especially because of its simplicity.
Elizabeth
Thank you, Elizabeth.
You have surpassed yourself here, Tilly. This is a heartrending poem, and beautifully written.
Thank you, Viv.
Very strong piece! Excellent post!
-Weasel
Thanks, Weasel.
apathy – the biggest enemy of all – so well rendered here.
Thank you!
(and thank you for commenting on my poem!)
Thanks Julie.
Tillybud this is a beautiful and strong piece of writing!
Heartfelt!
Pamela
Yes, very close to my heart.
This is fine.
The echo, soldiers die, is just about perfect.
Thank you for reminding me of Owen.
Glad to do it!
Very sad, poignant, and powerful Tilly…
…rob
Image & Verse
Thanks Rob.
Poignant, beautiful..
cut and dried
Thank you.
Your poem is poignant and painful, Tilly. Thanks for sharing it.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
Powerful poem. Reminds me a little of
‘Beach Burial’ by Kenneth Slessor.
I don’t know that one. I’ll check it out.
I can’t see it myself, but perhaps I’m too close to the material.
You have nailed this. Bravo!
Families lament each
neglected death,
each unremembered anniversary
Politics and the pain of those who lose.
Thanks.
Good understatement. A hard subject to write about, but it just won’t go away.
Sadly, no.
I’m not very familiar with Wilfred Owen, but I’ll look him up. I like the lines of his you cited, and your poem has just the right tone.
Thanks, Francis.
Your poem says it all in a succinct and heartfelt manner. I love it – it should be published. Several times.
What a lovely thing to say! Thank you.
A haunting reminder of the costs of war and a strong well stated opinion.
I hate to admit it but I have a lot of strong opinions.
This is a powerful poem and so very true. I think you capture a quieted reality of tis war and any other war for that matter. I was really struck by the lines below
each unremembered anniversary,
as unelected men decline
to sign cheques, and
soldiers die.
Its sad what time does for the un-famous who sacifice some times in vain for us. Thank very much fo rsharing this I truly enjoyed this thought provoking poem.
Thank you. I appreciate the comment.
Tilly, this is unfortunately a poem of our day. So very sad..and true.
Mary, so glad to hear from you!
Those bits of repetition and sound harmony peeping through echo Dulce et Decorum Est (I know that one, at least!), but you’ve made it your own, updating that bleakness for the present tense. Very well done!
Thank you Joseph.
the word “shrug” in this is perfectly sad. good word choice!
Thanks, Carolee. I’m afraid that seemed to be the governmental attitude at the time; hopefully, that is changing.
powerful indeed…thanks for sharing this
Thanks Wayne.
Damn… great job!
Nominating you for the “One Lovely Blog” Award: robotcupcake.wordpress.com
~Alexis
Thanks for nominating me, Alexis. I’ll sleep on it and post tomorrow.