This is an awful story but one line in the paper made me laugh, which is why I’m sharing it. From the Stockport Express:
A bride was smashed over the head with a pint glass by her own sister the night before her wedding. Joanne Mather was attacked by sister Shirley Roach at a family party on the eve of her big day. Roach had turned up at the celebration to try to ‘smooth over’ a long-running family feud regarding their father. But she became aggressive and was asked to leave [...] [s]he refused and, as her six-year-old daughter looked on, Roach attacked her sister before smashing a pint glass on her head and screaming, ‘I’ll kill you’.
Mrs Mather, 40, of Ludlow Towers, Brinnington, married husband Jason at Stockport Register Office the following day. But she had to walk down the aisle bearing the marks of the attack and missing a clump of hair which had been ripped out.
Roach, 27, of Brecon Towers, Brinnington, did not attend the wedding.
For a masterclass in How To Be An A-Lister, you should watch Harrison Ford on the Jon Stewart Daily Show. He was there to promote his new movie, Morning Glory. He promised that it is not a chick flick even though ‘the girl’ is the star; ‘the girl’ is brilliant in it. He talked Rachel McAdams up but negated his praise by being unable to recall her name. Unless, of course, his memory is going: he is ancient, after all.