A man took his dog to the vet.
“My dog is cross-eyed; is there anything you can do for him?” he asked.
“Well,” said the vet, “let’s take a look at him.” He picked the dog up and examined his eyes, then checked his teeth. Finally he said, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What?” asked the distraught man. “Because he’s cross-eyed?”
“No,” replied the vet, “because he’s really heavy.”
I am a little fat. I like food; what can I say? I have dull hair: mousey. I don’t wear much make-up and have no need of a dressing table. If I look like a bag lady, I chose my own clothes. If I look nice, the Hub picked them for me. Despite all this, I am a little vain. This photograph is from 2003. I had to go back that far to find one of me that I liked. But I don’t really care: my husband still thinks I’m beautiful and if he doesn’t, he loves me enough to lie about it. I’m lucky. I have two boys. They never lie to me. Still, you can't have everything.
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the life of animals
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A Community Website For Stockport Town Centre, Lancashire Hill & Heaton Norris.
Cute cat cartoon comical -
certainly silly -
cerebrally challenged
Great cartoon!
I~m voting CoWAbunger for Viv!!
Funny! And btw I am still telling people your joke about the fonts walking into the bar…gets a laugh every time!
Excellent!
Nice joke, the trouble with posting jokes is that you get nutters like me wanting to share.
Man walks into vet with dog; explains his dog is not very well.
Man puts dog on examination table.
Vet takes ginger tabby out from under table and holds it above dog’s head.
“He’s fine” says vet “£300 please”.
“£300 WHAT FOR?”
“The CAT Scan” says the vet.
Like the cartoons as well. I have a mathematician friend, pHD, very clever, I love to confuse him by asking him to boil me an egg, it NEVER fails to make me laugh.
Are you a fan of Gary Larson, the cartoonist?
I am a graphic designer, I like the fonts joke too. Not many people get it. Is the one “we don’t serve your type here”
Dave
I get all my best jokes from nutters, so feel free
This is an interactive blog, by which I mean my readers do most of the work.
I love that joke.
I adore The Far Side.
Come back soon, Dave; I already feel a certain fontness for you. You’re just our type
(Bad puns are also a regular feature on this blog)
There are too many Gary Larson cartoons to list but my favourite is the Farmer Dans Aeroplane rides, I just had to look at it again, thanks for making me smile.
“Fontness” typography jokes! Fontastic! Great reply.
Dave
I don’t know those cartoons, that I recall. Do you have a link? I only read the books and haven’t been able to do that for a long time.
He is a bit hard to find on the web and honestly I prefer the book. I will look into it though. Dave
That’s sweet! I don’t want to put you out but I will take advantage of your good nature if you insist. You do? Then I have to graciously accept
Told you it was an interactive blog.
Bet you’re sorry you ever stopped by now, aren’t you?
Ah Ha! you obviously didn’t read the small print I clearly wrote in very small letters above my submit button, I suggest a spam filter for my stuff, my mums got one, she swears by it.
I only write poetry I’m afraid, not really one for long words and short difficult words.
Dave
lol!
Then check out my other blog: http://imnotaverse.wordpress.com
I get you poor unsuspecting readers all ways…