I read this on Imagine FM’s Facebook page:
No word of a lie, there’s moves to officially twin the Scottish hamlet of Dull with the US town of Boring.
This came to my inbox. What does the Arts council have against tall people?
From the Arts Council: Calling all short film makers…
Spud told us that as he was coming out of school yesterday, he overheard two sixth form girls giggling about a man’s shoe size being the same size as his youknowwhat (he used the correct term; the girls used an explicit term; I’m middle-aged and reporting a rude conversation my teenaged son told me about; ‘youknowwhat’ is all I can manage without fainting).
He couldn’t resist: as he passed them he smiled, winked and said, ‘I’m a size twelve…’
Clearing out my draft box the other day, I came across a WordPress prompt and my reply from postaday2011. Can you believe I missed one? I know why it was still a draft: it’s not funny. But I have to flesh out this post somehow, so here you go:
Would you rather have the first word, or the last?
This is a tricky one, because I don’t own an up-to-date dictionary, and it would depend on the dictionary, because they must all be different, or else why would there be so many? Online dictionaries are useless in this instance because you can’t page through them.
Let me see…thumbsuck…thoughts coming up…in a minute…let me think…thinks…thinks…
‘A’ must be the first word. ‘Zzz’ must be the last.
A is the start, zzz is sleep.
Start something or sleep?
I would have to say, I’d rather have the last word.
But I’m scouse and we say ‘a’ for ‘hay’ and, despite my Heidi-loving childhood, I’ve never fancied sleeping in ‘ay.
So it’s still the last word.
Hey – we started with dull and boring; we might as well finish that way.