Another in my occasional series, A to Z of The Laughing Housewife.
I can’t think of anything that begins with J that might be of interest to you, so I will pluck some J words from the air and see what comes up.
I’ve had jobs:
- Till Operator
- Sales Assistant
- Receiving Clerk
- Worked In The Office But I Can’t Remember My Title Clerk
- Assistant Chief Clerk
- Chief Clerk
- Account Executive
- Don’t Think This Was A Demotion, Reader, Because It Was Not Wages Clerk
- Another One I Can’t Remember Clerk
- Doctors Get Called This One When They Run Things But I Wasn’t A Doctor And I Worked In A Secretarial College*
- Office Temp
The second-to-last one is my favourite-ever job, and I have never regretted giving up full-time paid work to do it, though less vomit and more chocolate would have been nice.
When Spud met Megan at age six, and went round to her house on a play date, Megan’s mother asked him what his mother did. Spud told the truth as he saw it: ‘She sits and reads the paper.’
I’ve had jabs:
I don’t understand the hatred for Justin Bieber. The boy loves his mother so he can’t be all bad.
I know who Jigglypuff is, and I can sing his/her song. But I don’t know what sex it is. I was too busy reading my paper to pay close attention.
We once had a five-year plan for me to graduate, take a Teaching English as a Foreign Language course, and for all of us to move to Japan for a few years. Then Spud got a full bursary to an outstanding school, Tory Boy went to university, and I took up blogging instead.
I always confuse Jake Gyllenhaal with Tobey Maguire. I know one of them was Spiderman and one of them got snowed in to a New York library, but that’s it.
I don’t know what jute is, and I don’t particularly care.
I believe that the only way to treat new jeans is to bash them around a bit and then throw them into the bottom of your wardrobe. My sons take this belief to its extreme and do it with all of their clothing.
I like jigsaws.
I am not jealous by nature, though I will occasionally covet a packet of crisps when I’ve already had my day’s packet.
I would love to do jury duty.
Juxtaposition is one of my favourite words.
I’ve had friends called Jackie/Jacqui. One was the school librarian when I was in sixth form. She and her partner painted each of their thirteen wooden stairs a different colour; and grew cannabis in the spare bedroom where I sometimes slept.
Another now lives on a boat in the Bahamas and teaches in a girls’ school. She would take a bottle of Pomagne to birthday parties; give it as her present; then drink the contents.
No wonder she can afford a boat in the Bahamas. Her Dad had a warm heart, the widest smile and the yellowest teeth I ever saw.
I still have to tell you 555 jokes in order to complete my 101/1001 challenge of telling a joke a day for 1001 days.
And I just had to use a calculator to work that out.
Did I mention I was once an Accounts Clerk?