Three Things That No Longer Exist

4 Jul

The B of the Bang

 

b of the bang

b of the bang (Photo credit: <smee>)

This beautiful sculpture, my favourite ever, has finally been dismantled and sold for scrap.   Okay, it went rusty and some of the spikes fell off and almost killed passersby, but so what?  It was gorgeous.

The sculpture was inspired by sprinter Linford Christie, who once said that he began running ‘on the b of the bang’ of the starter’s pistol.  I am sad to see it go.

As are the Manchester Evening News, apparently, who appear to have wanted a skewered pedestrian at the very least.  This is from their report:

The 184ft structure was eventually taken down in 2009 after a success of spikes fell off.

I don’t know science but I do know the value of an ion.

Or perhaps it’s a collective noun?

*

The Colonies

Happy Independence Day to my American readers!

We forgive you!

May your day be fun, your dogs be hot, and your fire work.

*

My Tooth Root

The dentist was very nice – he put magic cream on my inside cheek before sticking it with giant needles and rottling around in my gums like a dog with a marrow bone.  I didn’t feel a thing.

As I lay there being prodded with a number of pins, it occurred to me that there is no doubt of my nationality: a strange man offered me violence while I listened to The Archers on Radio 4, pretending it wasn’t happening.  And of course I had a stiff upper lip.

The treatment was not as horrible as I remembered, possibly because dentistry has moved on since 1983; but I was left with a lopsided face.  I didn’t know it was lopsided; dentists don’t keep mirrors in their surgeries, for obvious reasons.  I wondered about the funny looks and screaming kids as I walked home, but it was only when I called on my friend that I realised my usual natural beauty might have deserted me.

She opened her door, horror came over her face, and she grabbed me in a bear hug, muttering. ‘Oh Tilly!  Oh Tilly!’  For once, I’m not exaggerating.  She thought I’d been attacked or had a stroke.  It was an easy mistake to make:

I never appreciated how difficult it is for stroke victims to eat properly, even though I witnessed my poor Mum-in-law’s struggles.  I haven’t made that much mess eating since I was a baby.  Imagine it being a permanent condition.  Awful.

I was surprised not to have an aching tooth this morning; but my root has gone, of course; so I wouldn’t, would I?  My cheek is tender and it hurts to smile, but that will soon wear off.

I have a temporary filling until next week.  I do not have to pay for any of this treatment.  God bless the NHS!  I would, if I was working; and I would, gladly.  In the meantime, God bless the welfare state!  The benefits system has many faults but letting people die of rotten teeth isn’t one of them.

Finally, thanks to my family, who have been broadly sympathetic:

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34 Responses to “Three Things That No Longer Exist”

  1. heylookawriterfellow July 4, 2012 at 12:10 #

    If I may speak for all of America, I’m glad we can still be friends.

    I’m gonna go set off explosions now. Bad habit.

  2. vivinfrance July 4, 2012 at 12:39 #

    Glad you’re still more or less in one piece, even if the b has fallen off the bang. “rottling “????? it sounds like a weiling Rotter. Do you mean rootling in your root? I shall not let the fishkisser see this, it might put him off his eggs. He’s grumpy enough without having his profession impugned.

  3. mairedubhtx July 4, 2012 at 12:42 #

    Thank you for the lovely Independence Day greetings. It’s hot as hell but that’s how we like it for our Independence Day–folks passing out during parades and races, etc. I hope your face is no longer lopsided and you are feeling better. Your health system is so much better than ours. My last root canal cost me over $1,000 with the crown. That’s with dental insurance. What a great system.

  4. adinparadise July 4, 2012 at 13:25 #

    LOL @ your sympathetic family. Hope they’re never in need of some from you. ;) So glad you were oblivious to the violence being inflicted on you. Is “The Archers. An everyday story of country folk,” still going?!!! I remember when “Mrs Dale’s Diary” came to an end, ‘cos I mourned for weeks. I wonder if she’s still “very worried about Jim.” ;(

    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife July 4, 2012 at 14:05 #

      Yes, it is. I haven’t listened to it for ages and when I tuned in yesterday, there was a mysterious beast, I think, like the one on Bodmin Moor… Not quite so everyday :)

      • adinparadise July 4, 2012 at 14:21 #

        Yikes! Well I suppose they have to keep people riveted. ;)

  5. misswhiplash July 4, 2012 at 13:43 #

    well at least THAT tooth won’t ache anymore. Did the dentist give it to you to bring home to put under your pillow xxxxx

  6. laurieanichols July 4, 2012 at 13:50 #

    I am so glad that you are no longer in pain and hooray for the NHS, here in Massachusetts if you are unemployed and can’t afford health insurance the state covers you for medical and dental. So for many others a root canal can be upwards of 1000 dollars. It is crazy. I would say to the men in your life, No mocking please, who knows when you will be in need of some sympathy. Tilly will be there at the rescue, so no mocking.

  7. Al July 4, 2012 at 15:34 #

    Tilly, if you had been Queen of England in 1776, none of that unpleasantness would have happened in the first place and I would be naturally using those charming English words and phrases instead of having to look them up.

    Having said that, why are you snarling at me?

  8. SchmidleysScribbling July 4, 2012 at 16:00 #

    You look hot Tilly. You need something cold to drink. As for the root canal, been there and paid the bill too. $1000 here.

    My great-great-great-great-grandfather Johnathan Nichols fought the British when they came to Massachusetts. We take politics seriously in this family. Dianne

    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife July 5, 2012 at 12:12 #

      My great-great-great-great-grandfather Name Unkown was scratching a living from a potato patch in Ireland and hating the British. We take eating seriously in this family ;)

  9. gigihawaii July 4, 2012 at 17:36 #

    Aloha, Tilly! Happy holiday for us. I don’t envy your dental treatment. Hope all goes well for you.

  10. robincoyle July 4, 2012 at 18:51 #

    You have a lovely lopsided smile.

  11. granny1947 July 4, 2012 at 19:05 #

    So glad it is all over.
    Even more pleased that it didn’t hurt!

  12. eof737 July 5, 2012 at 05:14 #

    You poor thing… Hope you feel better soon; even if you had no pain, there’s healing to do. ;-)
    ღ˚ •。* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛° 。* °♥ ˚ • ★ *˚ .ღ 。*˛˚ღ •˚ ˚ Happy Independence Day Greetings! ˚ ✰* ★˚. ★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚ ˚ღ。* ˛˚ ♥ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ ˚ 。✰ •* ˚ ♥

  13. The Squishy Monster July 5, 2012 at 05:59 #

    YAY for no pain! I hope you and yours enjoyed your 4th, my friend!!!

  14. musings July 5, 2012 at 07:02 #

    Oh too funny! It’s great to have a family with a sense of humor. I’m glad your tooth is better and you don’t have to pay an arm and a leg like we do.

  15. bluebee July 5, 2012 at 10:59 #

    Your men are cruel (and funny :-D)

  16. Gobetween July 5, 2012 at 18:13 #

    I am not on a medical aid but I do not skimp when it comes to going to the dentist because I can’t stand toothache. My dentist charged R75 for a pair of latex gloves and R8 000 to have a wisdom tooth removed at a hospital and R3 600 for a crown/cap. That is another kind of OUCH!

  17. Helen Cherry July 6, 2012 at 00:48 #

    You have my deepest sympathy ;)

  18. Perfecting Motherhood July 7, 2012 at 05:22 #

    I can’t believe you didn’t put an eye patch on for the picture and growled Arrrr!

    Don’t you love it takes only 5 minutes to get numb but 5 hours to get unnumbed?

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