A bonus joke for you, from Will & Guy:
Bob is walking down a country road when he spots Farmer Harris standing in the middle of a huge field of corn doing absolutely nothing. Bob, curious to find out what’s happening, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Excuse me, Farmer Harris, could you tell me what you are you doing?”
“I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize,” the farmer replies.
“A Nobel Prize?” enquires Bob, puzzled. “How?”
“Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”
Talking of farmers and their fields, some women dream of being with a man like the farmer who planted a private field in the shape of a heart, to honour his dead wife (read the story here):
I dream of one day having a tidy house. Look at the mess the Hub left recently, for me to find and clear up: