Joke 513

18 Aug
Stained glass cartoon King Arthur and Sir Lancelot

Stained glass cartoon King Arthur and Sir Lancelot (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is from Benzeknees.

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?…What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He h! ad never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur’s question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered….is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day…or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life

Now…what is the moral to this story?

If you don’t let a woman have her own way…things are going to get ugly.

About these ads

18 Responses to “Joke 513”

  1. Hudson Howl August 18, 2012 at 04:19 #

    yep!

  2. siggiofmaine August 18, 2012 at 04:27 #

    Definitely worth the read to the end ! Thanks.
    Peace
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

  3. Bill Chance August 18, 2012 at 04:44 #

    Nice story – I had never read this before.

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. grannymar August 18, 2012 at 09:56 #

    Now that is a good moral and story.

  5. lanceleuven August 18, 2012 at 11:42 #

    Yep. Couldn’t agree more!

  6. Al August 18, 2012 at 15:57 #

    I could have told this story in six words: “Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

  7. slpmartin August 18, 2012 at 17:46 #

    Hmm..lesson learned.

  8. vivinfrance August 18, 2012 at 18:57 #

    A wonderful lesson.

  9. viveka August 18, 2012 at 19:53 #

    Nice one … where can I find .. a man like Lancelot ????? Great moral to this story – hope that all men take it in. *smile

  10. idiosyncratic eye August 18, 2012 at 23:07 #

    I don’t think that’s a joke but a fable or an allegory. ;)

  11. colonialist August 19, 2012 at 21:48 #

    I simply LOVE the punchline!

  12. evilnymphstuff August 20, 2012 at 06:58 #

    Ah I love this so much! LOL! “things are going to get ugly.” ;) awesome lesson that all men should learn haha

  13. benzeknees August 29, 2012 at 07:49 #

    Thanks for the credit – I enjoyed reading it a second time!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Saturday Night Live Opening Sketch: Sir Lancelot on the Daily Show? | The Written Blit - October 4, 2012

    [...] Joke 513 (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com) [...]

All comments are welcome, though compliments may result in you having your Malteser privileges revoked

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Vastly Curious

SHOW ME THE WORLD!!

God's Creatures

the life of animals

David Gaughran

Let's Get Digital

skcentralvoice

A Community Website For Stockport Town Centre, Lancashire Hill & Heaton Norris.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,024 other followers

%d bloggers like this: