Joke 528

2 Sep
Another joke from Cliff.

60KM/H Speed limit sign in Australia.

60KM/H Speed limit sign in Australia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Perks Of Old Age
*
  • In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
  • No one expects you to run.  Anywhere.
  • People call at 9 (a.m. or p.m.) and ask,  ‘Did I wake you?’
  • People no longer view you as a  hypochondriac.
  • There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
  • Things you buy now won’t wear out.
  • You can eat supper at 4p.m.
  • You can live without sex (but not your glasses).
  • You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  • You sing along with elevator music.
  • Your eyes won’t get much worse.
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  • Your joints are more  accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • You won’t remember who sent you this list. 

ONE IMPORTANT THING: 

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER,  under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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32 Responses to “Joke 528”

  1. Katherine Gordy Levine September 2, 2012 at 04:41 #

    Pinned you again. http://pinterest.com/pin/147141112796558328/ Keep them coming.

  2. katharinetrauger September 2, 2012 at 04:42 #

    OH NO!
    OH NO!
    RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF READING THIS, I THOUGHT, “THIS IS REALLY CUTE — I SHOULD FORWARD IT TO TILLY.” (!)

  3. terry1954 September 2, 2012 at 05:19 #

    oh these are so true. loved that last statement!!! lol

  4. bigsmileu1 September 2, 2012 at 08:27 #

    LOL! ;)

  5. misswhiplash September 2, 2012 at 08:46 #

    Cool! you are a twit! But to be honest most of them are right!

  6. vivinfrance September 2, 2012 at 09:19 #

    d’accord for most of these. It’s too late to worry about pension plans and health insurance!

  7. eof737 September 2, 2012 at 09:44 #

    NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Good idea! :lol:

  8. macilane September 2, 2012 at 10:09 #

    As a very old Swede I can really confirm the advantage of being old (big laugh)!!
    Most of the points comfirmed :-)

  9. OyiaBrown September 2, 2012 at 11:16 #

    Reblogged this on OyiaBrown.

  10. Syeda Maham September 2, 2012 at 11:28 #

    ‘Sans teeth,sans eyes,sans taste,sans everything’.
    Shakespeare was right all along.

  11. sharechair September 2, 2012 at 12:45 #

    you just described my life.

  12. viveka September 2, 2012 at 16:10 #

    Maybe it’s because I’m over 60 that I didn’t get this one *laughing

  13. Kate Kresse September 2, 2012 at 17:03 #

    LOL! Good one Tilly—I’m not 60 yet, but some already apply; guess i am a leader and over-achiever, right?

  14. gtalan September 2, 2012 at 18:41 #

    LOL !! That’s so funny and sad but true, but none of this will happen to me ! For I’m a toy’s R us kid and I’ll never grow up!!…..much..sorta…kinda…but still…..okay I need to go take my medication again

  15. slpmartin September 2, 2012 at 21:21 #

    Very cute lines.

  16. katharinetrauger September 2, 2012 at 22:57 #

    Your birthday post is not working. However:

    HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAREST TILLY! :) We love you and hope you get really, really OLD! Someday. :)

  17. Three Well Beings September 3, 2012 at 02:00 #

    OK, now…I’m not sure now. You have targeted my very own number…60! I’d take you on, but I’m too tired! Debra

  18. robincoyle September 3, 2012 at 03:56 #

    Phew…I won’t be a hostage for long.

  19. idiosyncratic eye September 3, 2012 at 10:47 #

    I’m trying to decide whether it’s scary or depressing that I do many of the things on this list. :)

  20. vastlycurious.com September 7, 2012 at 04:42 #

    I forwarded this to 4 people! Thank you!

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