From Will & Guy. Not really a joke, but amusing.
Funnies From The Small Ads Column
- A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
- Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
- Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced. Get an extra pair to take home.
- Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
- Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
- For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
- Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
- For Sale — Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.
- Great Dames for sale.
- Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
- Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Quotes from bizcommunity.com
- I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes ~ Philip Dusenberry, quoted in Eric Clark, The Want Makers: Inside the World of Advertising, 1988.
- I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
- Advertising sure brings quick results — last week I advertised for a night watchman — the same night my safe was robbed.