From punoftheday.
I love one-liners like this (it’s only on two lines because space is limited), so I found a few more for you on the Telegraph website, of all places.
Tim Vine (this one won him an award):
Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.
Tim with another award winner:
I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.
Matt Kirshen:
I was playing chess with my friend and he said ‘Let’s make this more interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.
Mr Vine again (I’m a fan):
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

















Love these.
Good morning, Tilly.
Morning, ADiP
O, u qt! I nv u!
i love one liners!!!
Love the chess one!
Ah…the first one was my favorite.
Love ‘em all. They made Jock chuckle – a good thing, as he’s been in a black humour lately.
Poor Viv
Reblogged this on OyiaBrown and commented:
You could have added, from the late Eric Sykes: I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion as it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
Hahah! Love it!
I like all of these! One liners are so clever!
A chuckle is a nice way to start the day. Thanks Tilly!
Glad to help!
Bwaahaahaahaa! (Spitting coffee with laughter). Puns are my favorite, and I’m not ashamed to say it. Followed by the one-liners, because I can’t remember jokes any longer than those. My most recent favorite, still lingering in my brain: I was in the bank the other day and this old lady asked me to help her check her balance. So I shoved her.
A laugh-out-loud one! Thanks
Great ones … love the chess one. *smile
All were quite clever. I just wish I could remember them later!
I asked the butcher why his chickens were so expensive. “They’re corn-fed,” he said, ‘raised by Tim Vine.”
Took me a moment, but definitely worth it! Love it