Tim Vine (Photo credit: DLNY)
I enjoyed those one-liners* the other day so much, I treat you to some more, courtesy of Tim Vine, via the Telegraph.
- Exit signs? They’re on the way out!
- Eric Bristow asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said, ‘You just can’t let it go, can you?’
- I saw this advert in a window that said, “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down.’
- Do you ever get that when you’re halfway through eating a horse and you think to yourself, ‘I’m not as hungry as I thought I was’?
- Velcro? What a rip-off!
LMAO
Oh…those one liners are always something to consider.
I love these one liners, for some reason they remind me of my mother.
Oh yes. The one-liner king! Did you hear his Edinburgh Fringe runner-up:
“Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. ”
(Although I did also quite like the winner by Stewart Francis: “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”)
They cracked me up! If you’ve got any more, please email them to me.