Sandra Bullock Has A Sex-Change And Retires To Norfolk

27 Nov
The Rolling Stones discography

The Rolling Stones discography (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Time For Bed, Grandad

The Rolling Stones breached their curfew this week.  Playing at the O2 Arena, according to The Telegraph:

...the quartet, all aged in their 60s and 70s, were half an hour late starting, which meant the concert did not finish until just after 11pm [and] their set ran 40 minutes over a strict curfew.

Quite how strict the curfew was is debatable, given they ran a not insubstantial forty minutes over.

Fans, already annoyed by touts selling tickets at £3000 each – and who showed their displeasure by not purchasing them, leaving empty seats in the arena – were furious that the Stones’ final set omitted I Can’t Get No Satisfaction. Imagine their dissatisfaction, then, when many were left stranded because the tube line they needed to use to get home closed at 11:45pm.

You see, Mr Jagger – there’s a reason for the curfew.

But not to worry: in true British fashion,

It was left to a busker outside the local tube station to reprise I Can’t Get No Satisfaction as concert-goers made their way home.

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Bus, Earlham Rd. Norwich

Bus, Earlham Rd. Norwich (Photo credit: mira66) Not my story, but what a great picture!

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Meanwhile, Over In Norfolk

Ms Bullock, real name Alfred Throop, has been up to her old tricks again, driving speeding buses.  The Telegraph reports:

Alfred Throop, 67, was on the number 58 bus in Northfields, Leicester, on Thursday when the driver fell unconsious [sic] and the bus began to swerve.

Realising what had happened, Throop grabbed the wheel and steered the bus to the side of the road where it collided with metal railings at a pedestrian crossing.

With true British understatement, hero Mr Throop remarked:

“I noticed the bus going from side to side on the road and thought ‘there’s something wrong here’.”

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English: A square of bricks I just love a well...

Up against a brick wall (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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One For Alien Hippy‘s Mr Locoman

Mel Thorley of Stockport is having some trouble selling his house.  The Stockport Express reports that Mel’s perfect house [has] a spiral staircase, triple-glazing, two garages and six off-road parking spacesIt’s a great garden for sunbathing, the neighbours are great and it’s a good price.

There’s just one small problem: potential buyers tend to be put off by one little thing.  The paper describes it as:

…four railway engines parked on the back lawnwhich each weigh five tons.

British house buyers – picky, picky, picky.

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42 Responses to “Sandra Bullock Has A Sex-Change And Retires To Norfolk”

  1. jmgoyder November 27, 2012 at 10:36 #

    Oh I love these esp the Bullock one!

  2. Carol November 27, 2012 at 11:19 #

    The Sandra bullock one confused me at first…not seen the film.

    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife November 27, 2012 at 20:44 #

      Never seen Keanu Reeves clasp Sandra Bullock to his body on top of a piece of a board attached to a rope at sixty miles an hour??

      Your loss :)

  3. Jan November 27, 2012 at 12:34 #

    You find some great stories.
    My son has been mad about The Stones since he was about 12 years old.

  4. Katharine Trauger November 27, 2012 at 13:23 #

    Lotsa research here! Thanks for a chuckle to start the day. :)

  5. mairedubhtx November 27, 2012 at 14:36 #

    As good as the concert was, I would have been pissed off if I couldn’t get home on the metro or subway.

  6. laurieanichols November 27, 2012 at 14:40 #

    I saw the Stones at Shea Stadium way back when, I had fourth row seats. I was tired from a long day of school and work, those fourth row seats weren’t enough to keep me awake, my head kept bobbing and not in time with the music, lol.

  7. Al November 27, 2012 at 15:03 #

    I was so upset to hear Sandra Bullock had a sex change that I couldn’t make it through the rest of the post. Was it funny?

  8. adinparadise November 27, 2012 at 15:59 #

    Yes, I remember that movie. Hilarious fun. :)

  9. terry1954 November 27, 2012 at 18:31 #

    I had not heard that about Sandra, nor seen the movie, there is no truth to it, right? just for comedy only?

  10. slpmartin November 27, 2012 at 18:44 #

    Rather strange array of events…funny.

  11. SchmidleysScribbling November 27, 2012 at 18:50 #

    I see things are normal in your part of Britain. I thought you were on the NorthWest coast however and isn’t Norfolk to the East??

  12. Pseu November 27, 2012 at 19:24 #

    What film WAS it though, when she saved the bus while the bomb ticked?

  13. judithatwood November 27, 2012 at 19:42 #

    The Rolling Stones — rebels till the end! 60s and 70s — that makes me feel ancient!

  14. kateshrewsday November 27, 2012 at 19:57 #

    Bravo Mr Throop!

  15. robincoyle November 27, 2012 at 21:10 #

    I love the idea of giving aging rock stars a curfew. “Here is your warm milk, denture glass, and hearing aid dish, Mick. Now off to bed with you.”

  16. Hattie November 27, 2012 at 21:43 #

    I once made the non-pc remark to my husband, “Sandra Bullock kind of looks like a guy to me.” Nice confirmation.

  17. idiosyncratic eye November 28, 2012 at 13:41 #

    I’d love a house with five steam engines! O:)

  18. Three Well Beings November 29, 2012 at 01:26 #

    Yes, I do love British understatement. Mr. Sandra Bullock takes the cake. No screaming and shrieking? These are the kind of news stories I enjoy reading–you have a good eye to even find them! :-)

  19. Kay's Musings November 29, 2012 at 06:25 #

    Such a fun bunch of articles. Are Brits good at understatement then? You must all be very calm. There might be a train lover out there somewhere.

  20. eof737 December 5, 2012 at 08:22 #

    I can’t believe their tickets cost so much… ridiculous.

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