Little Bo: Mummy, can I go swimming?
Mother: Certainly not. The sea’s too rough, there’s a terrible rip-tide, a dangerous offshore current and I’ve heard this coast is infested with jellyfish and sharks.
Little Bo: But Daddy’s gone swimming!
Mother: I know, but he has excellent life insurance.
My husband taught me to swim the hard way – he threw me out into the middle of a lake.
Learning to swim that way wasn’t bad; the difficult part was getting out of the sack.