Tag Archives: 2012

Weekly Photo Challenge: My 2012 In Pictures (Part II)

31 Dec

In April I was mad for The Hunger Games:

Sépulture de Teviec (2)

And looked like I might have taken part at one point, thanks to my ten year-old niece’s skill with my make-up bag:

May brought sunshine for the first time in 2012, so we cleaned up our garden:

It was just as well the sun came out; Spud was beginning to rot:

Click to visit the original post

Great rejoicing in the Bud house when City won the Premier League Title:

And when our babies turned four:

Spud had his school prom in June:

I had poems displayed in three Bolton shop windows:

We watched the Olympic Flame come through Stockport:

June rained a lot but it brought us the Diamond Jubilee so we didn’t mind:

Weekly Photo Challenge: My 2012 In Pictures (Part I)

31 Dec

The prompters suggest we use twelve photos to illustrate the year.

Ha!

You will be visited by four posts of photographs, the first to arrive when the clock strikes one…um, make that ten-fifteen.

In January, I talked about hair:

A lot:

A real lot:

February, there was more hair: mostly the lack of it on my side of the family:

The Hub liked February because my readers started a Save The Hub support group, owing to my alleged meanness to him:

I went to Spain in a manky cardi and was goosed by a brass monkey:

I went to the library with my writing group:

March brought one glorious but brief moment of having a clean and uncluttered lounge.  I knew it wouldn’t last so I took a photo to help me through the down days:

And a Happy Mother’s Day wish from my sons:

 

Joke 648

31 Dec
The worse fish (fake!)

The worse fish (fake!) (Photo credit: The PIX-JOCKEY’s FAKE SHOW by Roberto Rizzato)

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits

*
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg and a hand?

Birdsthigh fish fingers

*

What TV game show do fish like best?

Name That Tuna

*
Where do fish wash?

In a river basin

*

What do you call a literary fish?

Salmon Rushdie

*

What part of a fish weighs the most?

Its scales

*
What fish do road-menders use?

Pneumatic krill

*

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Jack the Kipper

 

Water, Water Everywhere

30 Dec

If there were a real Fountain of Youth, would you drink the water?

English: Bottled water fills an aisle in a sup...

Bottled water fills an aisle in a supermarket (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

No.  One should drink bottled water in foreign climes, or risk the two bob bits.

*

You’re having a nightmare, and have to choose between three doors. Pick one, and tell us about what you find on the other side.

A WordPress Prompter holding a glass of foreign water with my name on it.

*

What’s your ideal Saturday morning?

Filling up plastic bottles with our good Manchester tap water.

Are you doing those things this morning?

No.

Why not?

It’s Sunday.

*

Write a letter to your mom. Tell her something you’ve always wanted to say, but haven’t been able to. 

Dear Mum,

I hope you are comfortable as a pile of ash in a wooden box in the ground in Widnes.

I told you not to drink the water.

Love, Tilly x

*

What is your worst quality?

Using my dead mother as a comedy prop.

*

Tell us about a time when you had to choose between two options, and you picked the unpopular choice.

I could have chosen not to use my beloved dead mother as a comedy prop for a WordPress prompt post, but I just couldn’t help myself.

I am my dead father’s daughter.

*

If you were asked to spend a year living in a different location, where would you choose? 

In the States, under an assumed name after I was hounded out of Britain by outraged mothers who mistook my affectionate ribbing of my mother for a disrespectful poke.

Why the States?

They sell bottled water.

*

*

 

Joke 647

30 Dec
House on Fire Ruin II

House on Fire Ruin II (Photo credit: snowpeak)

A jobbing actor comes home to find his house has burned down.  His sobbing, injured wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang.  It was your agent.  Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire.  It went up so quickly.  Everything is gone; we’ve lost everything!  I nearly didn’t make it out of the house.  The poor cat is—”

“Wait, wait!  Back up a minute,” the actor says. “My agent called?”

 

Now That The Festive Season Is Over…

29 Dec

…I am enjoying the restive season

My middle-aged bones are not what they were.  I could once prepare for Christmas throughout the whole of December, look after a big house and a small family, host as many as twenty-two people for Christmas Dinner and four grandparents for a week, throw in a New Year’s Eve party with guests sleeping in the lounge, bakkie and their own tent in our large garden, manage the cooking, cleaning and washing, and still wear make up and a big smile at the end of it.

Now, five of us for Christmas Dinner and my legs ache, my back creaks, my tired body slept until nine this morning and make up?  Forget it.  The Hub knows what I look like with a naked face.  If he doesn’t like it, he can hobble through the door.

Roll on grandkids, when my sons can start hosting Christmas.

PS That NYE party when guests camped in our garden?  They woke on New Year’s Day to find their tent smothering them.  Our Doberman had chewed through the ropes in the night.

English: Christmas is over 2 It must have been...

English: Christmas is over 2 It must have been some kind of party in Gillingham around New Year’s Eve 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For more Six Word Saturdays go here.

Joke 646

29 Dec

There are two fish in a tank.

My 10G Fish Tank

My 10G Fish Tank (Photo credit: Miwok.)

One turns to the other and says, “Do you know how to drive this?”

*

Thanks to Gabrielle Bryden for letting me use this one.

 

The Cvillean

The adventures of little read writing Hood

Guernsey Evacuees Oral History

An Overlooked British Evacuation

Janie's Place

Welcome to the Great White North....

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,110 other followers

%d bloggers like this: