Tag Archives: Christmas

The Best Laid Plans Of Mice And Buds

13 Dec
Cover of "The Muppet Christmas Carol - Ke...

Cover via Amazon

As we are now in the final week of the 101/1001 challenge, I had intended to write a celebratory post each day about the experience.  Yesterday’s post was abandoned because of migraine; today’s because of unexpected visitors.  The coming week’s itinerary includes Christmas grocery shopping, Christmas shopping for just about everyone (for various reasons we haven’t been able to do much this year), a girls’ night in, visitors, visitors and more visitors (it is Christmas, after all) and the annual screening of A Muppet Christmas Carol for the boys and me.

I have to mark the end in some way, however, so here’s a summary of what I would have written, if I’d had the time:

  • It was fun
  • It was hard work
  • I didn’t complete all of the challenges
  • But that’s okay because it was meant to be for fun, anyway
  • Which it was
  • I’m pleased with the challenges I did complete
  • My favourite task was…

…but that’s all I have time for today – there’s a mop calling me (can’t have my guests knowing how dirty I really am).

I will try very hard to wrap up the past two and a half years’ experiences in the next five days, but I can’t guarantee it.  I feel a bit of a muppet.

 

Joke 987

5 Dec
frein

frein (Photo credit: Ludie Cochrane)

The first three jokes are from Reader’s Digest.

These holiday “headlines” — concocted by the satirists at the Onion — are completely fabricated. And yet they have the ring of truth. 

• Coal Now Too Expensive to Put in Christmas Stockings 
• Study Finds Link Between Red Wine/Letting Mother Know What You Really Think 
• Accountants Pack Times Square for Fiscal New Year 
• Book Given as Gift Actually Read

*

My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank homework. One line: “At Christmas, we exchange gifts with ____.”

His response: “Receipts.”

*

As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. “No problem,” I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.

“You can’t do that,” argued my four-year-old.

“Don’t worry. Santa will never know.”

He shot me a look. “So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?”

*

And from the archive:

*

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went camping. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of wine, they retired to their tent for the night.  At about 3 a.m., Holmes nudged Watson and said, “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

Holmes asked, “And what does that tell you?”

Watson replied, “Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it’s about 3 a.m.  Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes retorted, “It tells me someone stole our tent.”

*

And on a similar theme, this one is from real life.

The Hub: I fancy watching a new series coming on, Pet Detectives.

Spud: Do you know who solves the mysteries?

The Hub [walking straight into it]: No.

Spud: Sherlock Bones.

 

Christmas Decorating

4 Dec

As you can see, I have decorated my blog for Christmas.

Christmas in the post-War United States

Christmas in the post-War United States (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I changed some colour scheme or other so that bits are red instead of green.  It was an accident: I was looking for a way to remove empty boxes from my dashboard.  I rather like the red; don’t you?

The empty boxes are still there, of course.  I’m rubbish at this technical stuff.

I also changed my header, courtesy of the genius Aquatom, who sent me a choice of four Christmas headers out of the blue.  Thank you, Tom!

I am not going with snow this year and I am not changing the theme.  Blame the economy*.

*It doesn’t cost bloggers anything to change those things but if politicians can blame their laziness to fix things on the economy, then so can I.

 

Now That The Festive Season Is Over…

29 Dec

…I am enjoying the restive season

My middle-aged bones are not what they were.  I could once prepare for Christmas throughout the whole of December, look after a big house and a small family, host as many as twenty-two people for Christmas Dinner and four grandparents for a week, throw in a New Year’s Eve party with guests sleeping in the lounge, bakkie and their own tent in our large garden, manage the cooking, cleaning and washing, and still wear make up and a big smile at the end of it.

Now, five of us for Christmas Dinner and my legs ache, my back creaks, my tired body slept until nine this morning and make up?  Forget it.  The Hub knows what I look like with a naked face.  If he doesn’t like it, he can hobble through the door.

Roll on grandkids, when my sons can start hosting Christmas.

PS That NYE party when guests camped in our garden?  They woke on New Year’s Day to find their tent smothering them.  Our Doberman had chewed through the ropes in the night.

English: Christmas is over 2 It must have been...

English: Christmas is over 2 It must have been some kind of party in Gillingham around New Year’s Eve 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For more Six Word Saturdays go here.

Christmas Menu

28 Dec
The Hub usually takes a better picture than this but he was in a hurry for his dinner

The Hub usually takes a better picture than this but he was in a hurry for his dinner

As I’ve done nothing but eat since Christmas Eve, I have nothing to tell you.  

Unless I go with what I’ve been eating.  

That’s what I’ll do.

IMGP2474

Here is our Christmas Dinner Menu (sans forgotten starter):

  • Turkey
  • Gammon
  • Chicken
  • I forgot to put out the sausages, though I did cook them
  • Cauliflower (for those who don’t like Cauliflower Cheese)
  • Cauliflower Cheese (for those who don’t like cauliflower on its own)
  • Broccoli
  • Parsnips in honey
  • Carrots
  • Peas
  • Green Beans
  • Sprouts
  • Mediterranean Vegetable Mix (because it looked tasty)
  • Mashed Potatoes (using the good margarine)
  • Roast Potatoes (cooked in the meat fat)
  • Homemade Yorkshire Puddings (because the Hub prefers them)
  • Shop-bought Yorkshire puddings (because Spud prefers them)
  • Homemade Gravy (using the meat stock – all three)
  • Homemade Apple Pie
  • Rhubarb Pie
  • Alison’s Fantastic Cheesecake (she always makes a huge one for the Hub at Christmas)
  • Chocolate Fudge Cake
  • Toblerone Cake
  • Frosted Fancies
  • Assorted Sponge Cakes
  • Bakewell Tarts
  • Cream

Is it any wonder I’ve done nothing since Christmas Day?

Apart from our traditional Boxing Day Buffet, that is.  

That list is even longer, so here’s an illustration instead (without puddings):

Boxing Day Savouries

Boxing Day Savouries

Like a reformed Scrooge, it is always said of me that I know how to keep Christmas well.  If my guests explode when they leave, that’s down to them being guzzleguts.

The Drooping Housewife

27 Dec
Pajama

Pajama (Photo credit: Ramona.Forcella)

Apologies that I have not yet responded to your comments or visited your blogs.  I am what is technically known as ‘knackered’.  

Quite apart from the Christmas build-up and all the work involved, we have had a lot of (welcome) visitors, including on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day.

Tory Boy arrived late on Sunday night and left at seven this morning – the first time in about six years that he hasn’t worked Christmas Eve and Boxing Day.  I was afraid I would oversleep and miss saying goodbye so of course I woke up every hour and I feel like a zombie this morning.  I managed a couple of hours on the couch, when I fell asleep watching TV.

I have decided to take a pyjama day.  I promise to wash and brush my teeth so I don’t smell, but I’m not getting dressed.  I’m going to catch up on some TV and eat leftovers.

You are welcome to visit, but bring your dressing gown and slippers.

 

That Was Weird

26 Dec

IMGP2409

I had a lovely Christmas Day.

It was weird.

Usually, the boys wake us around seven.  We have never had enough sleep the night before.  For the first time, it was gone eight (that was particularly weird for me – I get up around six every day).

Usually, I insist that discarded wrapping paper goes straight into bags for recycling.  This year, I let it pile up on the floor and the dogs played in it.  The mess was soon cleared up afterwards.

Usually, it takes us about two hours to unwrap all the presents.  We take turns, decipher the clues we have written for each other, and thank the giver.  That didn’t change.  We once spent Christmas with a family who dived in to the presents in a frenzy, opening everything at once.  It took eight people fifteen minutes, tops.  It might be fun but there was no laughter at bad guesses and daft clues, no gratitude from the receiver for the effort made by the giver.  We like to savour our gift-gifting.

Usually, the Hub has to go back to bed for a couple of hours; yesterday, he didn’t, though he did doze on the couch while I made dinner.  That’s normal.

Usually, we don’t walk the dogs on Christmas Day, the only day of the year they don’t get a walk.  Yesterday, because it has rained so much in the last two weeks, we took them out while it wasn’t.  It was the Hub, the Nephew and me.  Lovely.  

It’s not so lovely trying to find dog poo in the dark, but I’ll gloss over that bit.

Usually, we have a starter.  Yesterday, I only remembered it as I was about to dish up, so we didn’t.  No one cared.

Usually, I am a terrible stress head about making Christmas Dinner.  Last year I cried because the roast potatoes were too big.  This year, not only were the roasties perfect, but I didn’t stress at all, timing everything just right.  The only wee bit of stress was when the boys came to help and I had to leave the kitchen while they squabbled about stupid things.  It was liking watching an all-male version of my marriage.

Usually, I finish my dinner, Christmas or otherwise.  Yesterday, I was the only one who didn’t, and who didn’t have seconds.  That’s ten pounds I’ll never put on.

Usually, we pull our crackers after dinner.  Yesterday, because of lack of space, we pulled them first and ate with paper hats on our heads,  Most jolly!

Usually, we watch a film after dinner.  Yesterday, for the first time in years, we didn’t.  We watched Doctor Who – of course – and other Christmas TV specials. Usually, we’re too stuffed to laugh, but The Royle Family took care of that.

Usually, I fall into bed on Christmas night around eleven, as the one and sometimes two glasses of wine kick in.  This year I drank Buck’s Fizz.  A whole bottle, without it going to my head.  Rather impressed with my hard head, I have just looked it up and it is one part alcohol to two parts orange juice…I still have a soft head.

All in all, a lovely day.  I love the routine of Christmas; don’t you?

 

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