Tag Archives: Definitions

Joke 612

25 Nov

Thanks to Grannymar for this one.

English: Aching tooth: This statue is in the w...

English: Aching tooth: This statue is in the window of a dentist’s in Blackheath. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

DEFINITIONS

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour-saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Joke 579

23 Oct
English: The Eiffel Tower from below.

The Eiffel Tower from below. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From my friend Cliff.  

Thank you, Cliff, for being such a great supplier of jokes.

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True Definitions

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1.  ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds

2.  AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do

3.  BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

4.  BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

5.  CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

6.  COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

7.  ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

8.  EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

9.  HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of
……money

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

12. PARADOX: Two physicians

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with

16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

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