Tag Archives: Health

New Year, New Rules

3 Feb

Image from integral-optionsblogspot

A Little Housekeeping

As you know, several minor health issues last year left me with no appetite for blogging.  The break has helped but, if I’m going to keep it up, I need to change my habits.

My intention is to try to post at least three times a week from Monday to Friday; and to visit your blogs on Saturdays.

Apologies

I won’t be commenting on my or your blogs as often I used to.  If last year taught me anything, it’s that I just can’t sustain it.  I’m sure you understand.  And if you don’t, feel free to leave a comment.

But don’t expect a reply…

Bored With Myself Now

19 Oct
doctor_doctor_joke29

doctor_doctor_joke29 (Photo credit: Alan O’Rourke)

I’m feeling a little weary today

I wrote this post earlier but decided to let it stew for a bit because it is
so full of self-pity and poor-meism.  I had decided not to post it at
all when it occurred to me that sometimes I present a false image of
myself (fancy someone doing that on the internet…); that if you take
this blog at its word, everything in the Tilly garden is rosy and that I
face problems with stoicism and humour.  

Which I do, of course, but not until I’ve had a large, private dose of
self-pity and poor-meism.  Then I joke about it and move on.

That false image is unfair to you, I think.  Like the supermodels I so
closely resemble, I show you the airbrushed version of my life – and
my personality, if I’m honest.  In reality, I’m as grumpy and self-pitying
as the rest of you.  So here’s an honest piece of writing.

Don’t say you weren’t warned.

[I have decided not to link this post with Six Word Saturday.  My
regular readers will get when I'm joking; my irregular readers might not.]

Sick Puppy - Sick As A Dog

Sick Puppy – Sick As A Dog (Photo credit: Anirudh Koul) What I am in my head; but not in my bod.

Because I’ve had one thing after another, I haven’t participated in Six Word Saturday for a couple of months.  I was determined to participate today and in my head, I wrote a particularly funny post for you about visiting the doctor.  However, my brain doesn’t have a sense of humour today, being too taken up with self-pity, so you get this instead. Sorry.

The painful lump in my neck turned out to be one of two swollen lymph nodes.  The on-call doctor did a thorough examination, history, etc., and concluded it was an infection of indeterminate origin.  She checked all areas where swollen lymph nodes might appear (there were no others).  She took blood there and then, so the results will be back in time for my scheduled appointment with my regular doctor next week.  She recommended a dental check up in case it was my teeth causing the infection – a distinct possibility: despite regular check ups, careful oral hygiene and lots of wishing it don’t be so, I do have a lot of teeth problems, as you know.

Swollen lymph nodes termed "buboes" ...

Swollen lymph nodes termed “buboes” caused by plague bacteria (bubonic plague). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)  What I’m hoping mine are NOT

I went straight into the dentist’s, a couple of doors down, as soon as I came out of the doctor’s.  I explained the situation and that the doctor wanted me to see the dentist before next Thursday’s appointment, so it could be ruled out (or in).   This is where it got awkward: not knowing I was going to be unwell, I have a full diary next week; I could do Monday morning or all-day Tuesday, and that was it.  The wonderful receptionist, Alison, laughingly tut-tutted at my lack of prophetic skills and squeezed in a twenty-minute appointment on Tuesday afternoon.  I have had so many emergency appointments over the years, it wouldn’t surprise me if Alison pencilled them in in advance, to be on the safe side.

The doc prescribed a course of amoxicillin and I started it immediately.  Within 24 hours I was feeling a lot better; today, there’s no pain and I can move my neck normally again.  That’s when I noticed the nausea.  It has lasted all day and reminds me of being pregnant (not a possibility – I had an ultrasound last week over an unrelated matter and there was no waving baby in sight).  I checked the amoxicillin’s contraindications – 1 in 1000 people experience nausea as a side-effect.  I have never had that problem before with penicillin; but that’s the sort of year I’m having.

"When you run with the Doctor, it feels l...

“When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it’ll never end. But however hard you try you can’t run forever…” (Photo credit: fengschwing)  I have to say, that was a problem for me even before I started feeling unwell.  No stamina, you see.  None at all, ever.

So, yes, I am a little fed up today.  I’m sick of feeling sick and run down and not being in the mood to blog, supposing I had the energy, which I hardly have had lately (though it doesn’t appear to have affected my ability to write long-winded, meandering sentences).

I’m off to count my blessings, however, beginning with:

  1. A free healthcare system which ensures I get good treatment despite having no money.  
  2. It’s not serious (thanks to modern medicine); it’s just a little wearisome because it’s the latest in a long line of small ailments.
  3. The Hub.  As some of you may have guessed, he’s rather nice, especially when I don’t feel well and despite his own long-term condition.*
  4. My blog.  It means I can feel sorry for myself in front of a worldwide audience.
  5. My readers, many of whom have real problems, not least of which is no access to decent health care; and some of whom are dealing with dreadful illnesses and conditions and only wish they felt just a little weary; and all of whom will rush to leave supportive comments. 

 If I didn’t feel so guilty, I’d feel better already.

*

*Good grief!  I must be sick!  I said something nice about the Hub.  I’m scared.

I’m No Michaelangelo

16 Oct

Daily Prompt: Michelangelo’s YOU

The Pieta, by Michelangelo

The Pieta, by Michelangelo (Photo credit: kiwizone)  AKA Hub Carrying His Missus To The Hospital On The Occasion Of Her Blackhead

Your personal sculptor is carving a person, thing, or event from the last month of your life into the glistening marble of immortality. What’s the statue and what makes it so significant?

The statue is a large, flaking pimple.

This is what I look like at the moment:

Okay, the flaky skin was cured by copious amounts of Vaseline and the seventy-year old woman staring out from the mirror has lost twenty years; but now I am lumpy.

On Monday evening sometime after nine, I suddenly felt an ache on my neck.  I suspected a lump but couldn’t really find one.  Yesterday morning it had appeared.  Yesterday evening it was stretching its legs down my neck tendons and feeling quite sore.  This morning it hurt.  Fortunately, that is easing as the day goes on.

Naturally, I reached out for expert help.  

Google says it’s a goitre, which means I’m either infected or hormonal.

You choose.  But don’t mess with me…I have a disgusting thing and I’m not afraid to use it.

 

Metal Fatigue

23 Feb

I think I’ve infected the appliances

I went into the spare room at the first throat tickle and avoided all contact with the Hub and it seems to have worked: his compromised immune system didn’t cave at the first sneeze spray like it usually does.

Give me my mofackin' pot pie!!!   298/365

Give me my pot pie!!! 298/365 (Photo credit: AndYaDontStop)

However, my rotten germs needed to go somewhere.  Suddenly, the TV is showing wavy lines; the fridge freezer has a blockage; the PC demanded a new power supply and the dishwasher gave up the ghost.

Coincidence?  I think not.

*

*

Joke 697

18 Feb
Doctor Who Joke #2

Doctor Who Joke #2 (Photo credit: >Rooners)

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man, “Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.”

“But Doc,” protested the patient, “if I do that, I’ll get pneumonia.”

“I know,” said the doctor, “but I can cure pneumonia.”

It’s feeble, I know, but so am I at the moment.  From workjoke.com

 

A Doctor A Day Keeps Flesh-Eating Bugs Away

9 Feb

Thinking of going on a diet

I turn fifty this year; I need to take my health seriously.  I know this because I have received an invitation to attend a health check at my doctor’s surgery.  They would like to test for my risk of developing diabetes, heart disease, stroke and kidney failure.

Understanding Women

Understanding Women (Photo credit: Graela)

I suppose the thinking is:

  1. We’ll scare her into treating her body like a temple instead of a chocolate sanctuary
  2. It will save the NHS money if we catch her before it’s too late and too expensive for this postcode
  3. We don’t want her to die; she’s one of our most obedient patients, turning up on time for every appointment, whether voluntary or compulsory; and always taking the full course of antibiotics as instructed

I have never smoked, barely drink, don’t have the energy for late nights and walk every day…but I do like to eat.  ‘Being overweight’ is the top risk factor, according to the leaflet that accompanied the diktat to comply and book an appointment, stat!

Rather like over-filling the car at the petrol pump* and the gas station* exploding because someone belched last night’s spicy curry, I’m a walking time bomb.

*Also half-Brit, half-Yank, apparently: what would that make me? A Yit/Brank/Bank/Brink/Kit/Yurt?

Health

Health (Photo credit: Tax Credits) Yeah, right!   http://taxcredits.net/  

The only reason I hesitate is this: the letter sending my orders to report to base is signed by (you’ll like this, Dianne) the Patient Demographics Officer.  My Doctor doesn’t care enough to send a personal (it doesn’t have to be embossed) invitation to an event that might save my life.  Huh.

Let’s do a pros and cons list to decide if I should embark on a regime that will take over my life but prolong it:

Pros:

  • I’ll be healthy
  • I’ll be alive
  • I’ll make my Patient Demographics Officer happy
  • How patient is she?  This could take a while
  • The house will smell of fruit
  • The house will smell of cooked cabbage
  • The house will smell of fart
  • The last two are pros because they keep guests away
  • That’s a pro because have you seen the price of fruit and veg in this country?  If I eat healthily, I won’t have the money to serve biscuits with my guests’ tea.  How embarrassing
  • I won’t get sick, have to go into hospital, contract MRSA and other flesh-eating germs and die
  • I’ll live longer.  I’ll even outlive the Hub who won’t join me on a diet, will get sick, have to go into hospital with the flesh-eaters and, well, you know the rest…
  • If I live longer and even outlive the Hub, I’ll finally be able to chuck out his junk.  It’s worth dieting for that reason alone
  • I’ll finally get back in to my 1982 skinny jeans; I knew I was right to hang onto them
  • The house will smell of fruit

Cons:

  • I’ll have to give up Maltesers

The cons have it: no diet.

Blogging Is Backbreaking Work

11 Jan
Flexion Stressing Posterior Annulus | Diagram ...

Flexion Stressing Posterior Annulus | Diagram of the Spine | Back Pain | Colorado Spine Doctor (Photo credit: neckandback)

I have been having quite a bit of pain in my lower back area.  I have terrible posture and I think the weight of my top half slumped over my waist for five hours at the computer each morning is the ouch factor.

I have decided to take a break from blogging for a week, to see if that helps.

I will schedule your daily joke and re-blog some old posts to keep you going, but I’m sorry, I won’t be visiting or answering comments for a while.

The Laughing Housewife Management thanks all readers for their understanding.

Anyone offering free back rubs is welcome to visit.

All advice gratefully read, if not replied to.

Viv’s Home!

4 Dec

I would like to thank you all for the good wishes you sent to Viv, even though many of you don’t know her.

I’m happy to report that she’s back home, blogging, poeming and commenting. This is what she had to say:

I am overwhelmed with all the support and good wishes. Thank you all from the bottom of my newly repaired heart, which is very happy to be home at last.  

If you would like to read the story of her mishap with a hospital gown, hop on over to her blog.

Welcome back, Viv!  I missed you.

Get Well Soon, Viv!

24 Nov

6WS friend Viv is in hospital

I know a lot of you visit Viv through Six Word Saturday, so I thought you’d like to know she’s in hospital.

The phone rang yesterday:

TB: Hello?  Whoisitwhaddyawantstopbotheringmewiththesestupidcoldcalls!

Viv: It’s Viv.

TB: Bev?

Viv: Viv!

TB: Bev who?

Viv: I’m going to climb out of this hospital bed and onto a plane and knock the dumb out of you if you don’t open your ears.  Viv!

Okay, I might have made that last bit up, which you all know because you know how lovely and sweet and generous and kind and caring Viv is; but I don’t do mushy, so I make stuff up to mask my anxiety.

Viv’s main problem is that she’s been unhooked from wi-fi.  The only cure for that is to get out of hospital ASAP and come home.

Get well soon, my lovely Viv.

 

Six Word Saturday (For Want Of A Better Title)

20 Oct

Hub still ill.  

I’m still laughing.

Today’s post is late because I was at a half-day conference on laughter this morning.  Funnily enough, it was quite serious.

I came back to no internet.  That’s just not funny.

Hub is still in bed after five days, but on the mend.  We have decided that he has not caught my bug, after all, because he shows no sign of excessive nasal leaking. Also, his lips are blistered and his mouth full of sores, neither of which I had.  

I gleefully informed him that he can stop blaming me for making him ill.

He gleefully replied that he’ll probably pass his germs on to me.

Funny, I was just starting to like him.

Germs

10 Oct

 

TV Germs

TV Germs (Photo credit: dsb nola)

This is what the inside of my throat looks like, I’m sure.

I’ve got germs.  I’ve got the bug that’s been doing the rounds in this house, in this town, in this country, in other countries, in the blogosphere.

My family have had it.  My friends have had it.  My blogging friends and family have had it.  Now I have it.

It’s your fault.  I’m not talking to you.

 

Joke 553

27 Sep

 

From ajokeaday.com.

A Married Couple

A Married Couple (Photo credit: josefnovak33)

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.  The doctor gave him an exam and found nothing physically wrong with him.

“If you ever expect to cure your insomnia,” the doctor said, “you need to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.”

“I’d love to,” said the man, “but my wife refuses to sleep alone.”

***

And to redress the balance, one from jokes.net.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.  He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder.  If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die: each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.  Be pleasant at all times.  For lunch make him a nutritious meal.  For dinner prepare an especially nice meal.  Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse.  No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week.  If you can do this for the next six months, I think your husband will completely regain his health.”

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”

“He said you’re going to die,” she replied.

 

What About M.E.?

12 May

Today is M.E. Awareness Day

(That’s only five words, but I was too tired to go on)

I wrote this for last year’s M.E. Awareness Day.  Nothing has changed, so I decided to re-post it as I wrote it.

Today is International CFS/ME and Fibromyalgia Awareness Day.

That’s a mouthful so, in layman’s terms: millions of people across the world suffer unexplained fatigue, excruciating pain, the stigma of being called ‘lazy bones’, and are generally considered too idle to work.

Please consider me sticking two fingers up at those who say my husband who, before he became ill, ran his own business, travelled all over sub-Saharan Africa, trained under-14s at football, was a qualified referee who covered as many as five games every Saturday, set up and ran the official MCFC Supporters Club of South Africa and occasionally came home to remind himself of what his family looked like, is lazy and too idle to work.  I don’t buy it.

I don’t know how much you know about ME but here’s a bit of info to get you started:

It has many names, including:

  • Yuppie Flu
  • Myalgic Encephalomyelitis
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • Post-Viral Fatigue Syndrome

Fibromyalgia is similar but not exactly the same, though I can’t really tell you the difference; and I don’t think it matters to those who suffer from these dreadful and debilitating conditions.

It robs you of a meaningful life.

You will spend your time in a haze of pain, exhaustion and prejudice – because ‘you don’t look sick’.  Someone once said to the Hub, ‘I wish I had it; I could do with six months off work.’  Now that person does have it, and it’s been a lot longer than six months.  I don’t gloat over that because I wish nobody had it.

Symptoms vary from person to person.

That’s one of the reasons it’s so difficult to diagnose and treat.  It doesn’t help that many in the medical profession don’t believe it exists.  It took two years before the Hub was taken seriously by a doctor.  He would be in bed for weeks.  When he could drag himself to the doctor’s he would invariably be told to ‘take two paracetamol and go to bed.’  One doctor said he needed a psychiatrist.

When a doctor finally did take him seriously, it took another six months or more to be officially diagnosed: the only way to do it was to rule out anything else.  He has had every kind of scan, blood test, whatever, available on the NHS.  They were thorough, but what a waste of money.

Then, once diagnosed, you are left to get on with it because there is no cure.

A few of the symptoms:

  • severe, debilitating and disabling fatigue
  • poor concentration
  • brain fog
  • poor memory
  • useless sleep i.e. you never feel refreshed
  • muscle pain
  • headaches
  • migraines
  • joint pain and inflammation
  • swollen glands
  • sore throat
  • hot sweats
  • cold sweats
  • noise sensitivity
  • light sensitivity
  • anxiety
  • insomnia
  • too much sleep with no benefit
  • short-lived paralysis
  • numbness
  • twitching muscles
  • tinnitus
  • blackouts
  • depression
  • feeling spaced out
  • mood swings, particularly bad moods
  • nausea
  • IBS
  • lack of temperature control
  • allergies
  • chest pain

This is not a complete list.

Not pleasant, is it?

So, if you know someone with CFS/ME or Fibromyalgia, please don’t take it personally when they cancel a long-standing date or seem fidgety and uncomfortable when you visit.  They simply don’t have the required energy.  If they live alone, offer to help with their shopping or anything else they might need.

Be nice.  Don’t judge until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes – you’ll have to do it, because they can’t walk a mile in any shoes.

And be careful: slow down; don’t feel the need to do everything.  Believe me, it can happen to anyone.

*

An apology: I had intended to write a good-humoured piece that would send you on your way with a smile and hopefully leave you thinking a little about this illness.

I couldn’t do it.  The sufferer has all the suffering, but their loved ones have to stand by, helpless, watching as their lives go on hold.  I hate it.

The saddest thing he ever said to me was, ‘I never got to play football with my own children.’

*

*

To Add To My Woes…

4 Sep
Eponychium is the anatomical term for the huma...

Image via Wikipedia

I have my second-ever cold sore on my philtrum, where it meets my top lip.  It looks like a red moustache of the kind beloved by Hitler.

I also have what I thought was a pimple on my right nostril, but it is firm to the touch, extremely tender, and has no head, rather like me in a crisis.

I’m covered in cuts and sores, including my left middle finger, where a nail broke off down to the skin, and pulled off half of the cuticle.

I realised I didn’t have a migraine after all, but a tension headache.  That I could still function was a bit of a giveaway.

Now, I’m not saying it has anything to do with Tory Boy coming home, but let’s look at the facts:

  • Tory Boy comes home
  • I get headache, cold sore, ugly red nose, cuts, broken fingernail

Make of that what you will.

*

Evading The Question

28 Jun
Photographer: Frank C. Müller

Image via Wikipedia

Do you believe in free-will?

I’m not sure.  Let me ask my husband; he’s always telling me what to do.

They say “everything happens for a reason” – do you think this is true?

What’s your reason for asking?

One health story making the rounds is how sitting too much all day will kill you. Since you are likely seated as you read this, don’t panic. We want to help.

Since we here at WordPress.com want you around, and blogging, forever, we’d like you to get up, right now, and do some push-ups.  How many do you think you can do? Write it down. Then go do ‘em. And write a blog post about the results. Did it feel good? Did you do more or less than you guessed?

According to fitness scientists, a 40 year old woman should be able to do 16. A man, 27.  And Jack LaLanne was doing push-ups into his 90s.

See The Simple Push-Up for more background on this curiously useful exercise.

The Laughing Housewife Blog is temporarily suspended due to Tilly Bud falling into a paroxysm of laughter on reading this prompt; and then a coffee table.

Quickly's

Get loose. Try something different.

benzeknees

A frustrated writer, who is her own worst enemy

Edwina Currie Made Me Start This Blog

Don't get mad; get writing

this fragile tent

a blog about small beautiful things

epitaphsblog

The last word on celebrities

Gethsemane Seeds

Learning the way of Christ

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,064 other followers

%d bloggers like this: