Tag Archives: Health

New Year, New Rules

3 Feb

Image from integral-optionsblogspot

A Little Housekeeping

As you know, several minor health issues last year left me with no appetite for blogging.  The break has helped but, if I’m going to keep it up, I need to change my habits.

My intention is to try to post at least three times a week from Monday to Friday; and to visit your blogs on Saturdays.

Apologies

I won’t be commenting on my or your blogs as often I used to.  If last year taught me anything, it’s that I just can’t sustain it.  I’m sure you understand.  And if you don’t, feel free to leave a comment.

But don’t expect a reply…

Bored With Myself Now

19 Oct
doctor_doctor_joke29

doctor_doctor_joke29 (Photo credit: Alan O’Rourke)

I’m feeling a little weary today

I wrote this post earlier but decided to let it stew for a bit because it is
so full of self-pity and poor-meism.  I had decided not to post it at
all when it occurred to me that sometimes I present a false image of
myself (fancy someone doing that on the internet…); that if you take
this blog at its word, everything in the Tilly garden is rosy and that I
face problems with stoicism and humour.  

Which I do, of course, but not until I’ve had a large, private dose of
self-pity and poor-meism.  Then I joke about it and move on.

That false image is unfair to you, I think.  Like the supermodels I so
closely resemble, I show you the airbrushed version of my life – and
my personality, if I’m honest.  In reality, I’m as grumpy and self-pitying
as the rest of you.  So here’s an honest piece of writing.

Don’t say you weren’t warned.

[I have decided not to link this post with Six Word Saturday.  My
regular readers will get when I'm joking; my irregular readers might not.]

Sick Puppy - Sick As A Dog

Sick Puppy – Sick As A Dog (Photo credit: Anirudh Koul) What I am in my head; but not in my bod.

Because I’ve had one thing after another, I haven’t participated in Six Word Saturday for a couple of months.  I was determined to participate today and in my head, I wrote a particularly funny post for you about visiting the doctor.  However, my brain doesn’t have a sense of humour today, being too taken up with self-pity, so you get this instead. Sorry.

The painful lump in my neck turned out to be one of two swollen lymph nodes.  The on-call doctor did a thorough examination, history, etc., and concluded it was an infection of indeterminate origin.  She checked all areas where swollen lymph nodes might appear (there were no others).  She took blood there and then, so the results will be back in time for my scheduled appointment with my regular doctor next week.  She recommended a dental check up in case it was my teeth causing the infection – a distinct possibility: despite regular check ups, careful oral hygiene and lots of wishing it don’t be so, I do have a lot of teeth problems, as you know.

Swollen lymph nodes termed "buboes" ...

Swollen lymph nodes termed “buboes” caused by plague bacteria (bubonic plague). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)  What I’m hoping mine are NOT

I went straight into the dentist’s, a couple of doors down, as soon as I came out of the doctor’s.  I explained the situation and that the doctor wanted me to see the dentist before next Thursday’s appointment, so it could be ruled out (or in).   This is where it got awkward: not knowing I was going to be unwell, I have a full diary next week; I could do Monday morning or all-day Tuesday, and that was it.  The wonderful receptionist, Alison, laughingly tut-tutted at my lack of prophetic skills and squeezed in a twenty-minute appointment on Tuesday afternoon.  I have had so many emergency appointments over the years, it wouldn’t surprise me if Alison pencilled them in in advance, to be on the safe side.

The doc prescribed a course of amoxicillin and I started it immediately.  Within 24 hours I was feeling a lot better; today, there’s no pain and I can move my neck normally again.  That’s when I noticed the nausea.  It has lasted all day and reminds me of being pregnant (not a possibility – I had an ultrasound last week over an unrelated matter and there was no waving baby in sight).  I checked the amoxicillin’s contraindications – 1 in 1000 people experience nausea as a side-effect.  I have never had that problem before with penicillin; but that’s the sort of year I’m having.

"When you run with the Doctor, it feels l...

“When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it’ll never end. But however hard you try you can’t run forever…” (Photo credit: fengschwing)  I have to say, that was a problem for me even before I started feeling unwell.  No stamina, you see.  None at all, ever.

So, yes, I am a little fed up today.  I’m sick of feeling sick and run down and not being in the mood to blog, supposing I had the energy, which I hardly have had lately (though it doesn’t appear to have affected my ability to write long-winded, meandering sentences).

I’m off to count my blessings, however, beginning with:

  1. A free healthcare system which ensures I get good treatment despite having no money.  
  2. It’s not serious (thanks to modern medicine); it’s just a little wearisome because it’s the latest in a long line of small ailments.
  3. The Hub.  As some of you may have guessed, he’s rather nice, especially when I don’t feel well and despite his own long-term condition.*
  4. My blog.  It means I can feel sorry for myself in front of a worldwide audience.
  5. My readers, many of whom have real problems, not least of which is no access to decent health care; and some of whom are dealing with dreadful illnesses and conditions and only wish they felt just a little weary; and all of whom will rush to leave supportive comments. 

 If I didn’t feel so guilty, I’d feel better already.

*

*Good grief!  I must be sick!  I said something nice about the Hub.  I’m scared.

I’m No Michaelangelo

16 Oct

Daily Prompt: Michelangelo’s YOU

The Pieta, by Michelangelo

The Pieta, by Michelangelo (Photo credit: kiwizone)  AKA Hub Carrying His Missus To The Hospital On The Occasion Of Her Blackhead

Your personal sculptor is carving a person, thing, or event from the last month of your life into the glistening marble of immortality. What’s the statue and what makes it so significant?

The statue is a large, flaking pimple.

This is what I look like at the moment:

Okay, the flaky skin was cured by copious amounts of Vaseline and the seventy-year old woman staring out from the mirror has lost twenty years; but now I am lumpy.

On Monday evening sometime after nine, I suddenly felt an ache on my neck.  I suspected a lump but couldn’t really find one.  Yesterday morning it had appeared.  Yesterday evening it was stretching its legs down my neck tendons and feeling quite sore.  This morning it hurt.  Fortunately, that is easing as the day goes on.

Naturally, I reached out for expert help.  

Google says it’s a goitre, which means I’m either infected or hormonal.

You choose.  But don’t mess with me…I have a disgusting thing and I’m not afraid to use it.

 

Metal Fatigue

23 Feb

I think I’ve infected the appliances

I went into the spare room at the first throat tickle and avoided all contact with the Hub and it seems to have worked: his compromised immune system didn’t cave at the first sneeze spray like it usually does.

Give me my mofackin' pot pie!!!   298/365

Give me my pot pie!!! 298/365 (Photo credit: AndYaDontStop)

However, my rotten germs needed to go somewhere.  Suddenly, the TV is showing wavy lines; the fridge freezer has a blockage; the PC demanded a new power supply and the dishwasher gave up the ghost.

Coincidence?  I think not.

*

*

Joke 697

18 Feb
Doctor Who Joke #2

Doctor Who Joke #2 (Photo credit: >Rooners)

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man, “Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.”

“But Doc,” protested the patient, “if I do that, I’ll get pneumonia.”

“I know,” said the doctor, “but I can cure pneumonia.”

It’s feeble, I know, but so am I at the moment.  From workjoke.com

 

A Doctor A Day Keeps Flesh-Eating Bugs Away

9 Feb

Thinking of going on a diet

I turn fifty this year; I need to take my health seriously.  I know this because I have received an invitation to attend a health check at my doctor’s surgery.  They would like to test for my risk of developing diabetes, heart disease, stroke and kidney failure.

Understanding Women

Understanding Women (Photo credit: Graela)

I suppose the thinking is:

  1. We’ll scare her into treating her body like a temple instead of a chocolate sanctuary
  2. It will save the NHS money if we catch her before it’s too late and too expensive for this postcode
  3. We don’t want her to die; she’s one of our most obedient patients, turning up on time for every appointment, whether voluntary or compulsory; and always taking the full course of antibiotics as instructed

I have never smoked, barely drink, don’t have the energy for late nights and walk every day…but I do like to eat.  ‘Being overweight’ is the top risk factor, according to the leaflet that accompanied the diktat to comply and book an appointment, stat!

Rather like over-filling the car at the petrol pump* and the gas station* exploding because someone belched last night’s spicy curry, I’m a walking time bomb.

*Also half-Brit, half-Yank, apparently: what would that make me? A Yit/Brank/Bank/Brink/Kit/Yurt?

Health

Health (Photo credit: Tax Credits) Yeah, right!   http://taxcredits.net/  

The only reason I hesitate is this: the letter sending my orders to report to base is signed by (you’ll like this, Dianne) the Patient Demographics Officer.  My Doctor doesn’t care enough to send a personal (it doesn’t have to be embossed) invitation to an event that might save my life.  Huh.

Let’s do a pros and cons list to decide if I should embark on a regime that will take over my life but prolong it:

Pros:

  • I’ll be healthy
  • I’ll be alive
  • I’ll make my Patient Demographics Officer happy
  • How patient is she?  This could take a while
  • The house will smell of fruit
  • The house will smell of cooked cabbage
  • The house will smell of fart
  • The last two are pros because they keep guests away
  • That’s a pro because have you seen the price of fruit and veg in this country?  If I eat healthily, I won’t have the money to serve biscuits with my guests’ tea.  How embarrassing
  • I won’t get sick, have to go into hospital, contract MRSA and other flesh-eating germs and die
  • I’ll live longer.  I’ll even outlive the Hub who won’t join me on a diet, will get sick, have to go into hospital with the flesh-eaters and, well, you know the rest…
  • If I live longer and even outlive the Hub, I’ll finally be able to chuck out his junk.  It’s worth dieting for that reason alone
  • I’ll finally get back in to my 1982 skinny jeans; I knew I was right to hang onto them
  • The house will smell of fruit

Cons:

  • I’ll have to give up Maltesers

The cons have it: no diet.

Blogging Is Backbreaking Work

11 Jan
Flexion Stressing Posterior Annulus | Diagram ...

Flexion Stressing Posterior Annulus | Diagram of the Spine | Back Pain | Colorado Spine Doctor (Photo credit: neckandback)

I have been having quite a bit of pain in my lower back area.  I have terrible posture and I think the weight of my top half slumped over my waist for five hours at the computer each morning is the ouch factor.

I have decided to take a break from blogging for a week, to see if that helps.

I will schedule your daily joke and re-blog some old posts to keep you going, but I’m sorry, I won’t be visiting or answering comments for a while.

The Laughing Housewife Management thanks all readers for their understanding.

Anyone offering free back rubs is welcome to visit.

All advice gratefully read, if not replied to.

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