A Christmas Poem

A Matter of Priorities 
 
Vicar claims:
‘Virgin birth a myth.’
 
Nobody cries, ‘Foul!’
 
Vicar claims:
‘Father Christmas dead.’
 
Hear the tabloids howl.
 
 
 
 
.

Don’t Read This If You Think I’m Nice

Today, I’m going to talk to you about poo.    Not that sort of poo, I’m afraid.  I am a working class girl with the occasional delicate sensibility: I can’t use the f-word that ends in ‘art’ and I won’t let my children use it (in front of me).  I really hate the word.  It [...]

Remembrance Day

I read about something called a snowball poem at the weekend: first line has one letter, second two, and so on.  I’ve had a go but it was much harder than I expected to write something with those rules that made sense.  Given what day it is, I have gone with a remembrance theme.
 

Remembrance Day
 
I,
as
you
died
there,
memory
claimed.
Precious
sacrifice
remembered.
Anniversary.

On the Park

on
    the
         park
        on
    the
park   the dogs will bark big dogs slim dogs
           fat dogs lap dogs dogs you want to pat dogs
                   brown dogs black dogs blonde dogs pack dogs dogs dogs
            try to chase a cat dogs chase another dog dogs
         chasing off the birds [...]

It’s Bonfire Night

To celebrate Bonfire Night – the evening we Brits remember the saving of King James I’s life - instead of setting off fireworks and burning effigies of Guy Fawkes, here’s a brief poem for you:
 
November Fifth
 
Fire works, so
Stop arson around.
  
   It owes something to the vernacular, so I hope my non-Brit friends get it. 

Good Advice

I wrote this after a week at summer school in 2007; it is almost word-for-word what was written on the back page of the student handbook:
 
From the University Book of the Obvious
 
Action in case of
fire: on discovering a
fire: please shout FIRE

Love Writing

The Hub is a real romantic.  He leaves little love notes all over the house for me to find: a heart drawn on the top leaf of the toilet roll; a smiley face drawn over two cartons of milk in the fridge; a ‘love you’ in my diary.  When we were courting (such an old-fashioned [...]

I Was Thinking

Writing my blog sets me thinking sometimes: first, how it doesn’t take much to amuse the Hub who, every time I say, ‘I was thinking…’ replies, ‘I can’t smell wood burning.’  After 27 years it still amuses him, poor love.  Secondly, that I have quite a few American visitors and some of the language I [...]

Monkey See, Monkey Do

 

 The Hub on a good day

 
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/has-science-found-the-cause-of-me-1799944.html 
I’m feeling excited today because of my husband.  You don’t often hear that after 27 years together.  Check out the link above: a possible breakthrough has been made in the search for the cause of CFS/ME.  In a nutshell, it’s all the fault of mice.  A retrovirus found in mice [...]

A Light-hearted Poem For You

Ashes to Backlashes
 
A dad left his family one day
to make some more sons in the hay;
he eventually passed away. 
 
For his first-born, came the last straw:
in the will, the boy was ignored –
he would be a victim no more. 
 
Buying the funeral with his own cash,
he legally owned his dad’s box of ash,
and sold him on eBay [...]