Tag Archives: You Tube

#heatonstwaiku

26 Jul

This weekend it’s the Heatons Arts Trail – a bunch of artists in Heaton Moor open their galleries and invite you to look around and, hopefully, buy their work.

Write Out Loud members are supporting the event by tweeting poems.  I’ve written a cycle of 26 haiku  – we call them ‘twaiku’ – about the individual artists, based on the information in the flyer.  I’ll be honest – it’s not my greatest work; but it was fun to do.

I would say check me out at @laughwife and @heatonstwaiku but the first two twaiku I posted have not appeared.  Not that I’m a technept or anything…

If you are an art lovin’ Stopfordian, you should follow the trail.  Details here.  And don’t forget the art gallery

There’s just one annoying thing (no; not the Hub): I have had an earworm all week.  I think ‘Heatons Twaiku’ and I hear ‘Eton Rifles’.  What a Jam!

A Treat For Doctor Who Fans

28 Feb

It’s about four years late but I’ve only just seen it.

Enjoy!

Prompts About Prompts

19 Feb

Tell us about the time you threw down the gauntlet and drew the proverbial line in the sand by giving someone an ultimatum. If you’ve never handed out an ultimatum but secretly wanted to, describe the scene and what you would say to put an end (one way or another) to an untenable situation.

Really, WordPress!  Enough is enough!  Stop mixing your metaphors and going on for three pages to get to the point (that’s my job).  Give me better prompts or I stop blogging!

*

Imagine yourself at the end of your life. What sort of legacy will you leave? Describe the lasting effect you want to have on the world, after you’re gone.

She was the sort of woman who never followed through on an ultimatum. Consequently, WordPress walked all over her.  However, she knew when her time was up, so she played The Last Post on her last post.  She might have been weak but she went out in style.

*

Describe the one decision in your life where you wish you could get a “do-over.” Tell us about the decision, and why you’d choose to take a different path this time around.

I don’t believe in regrets.  If we like who we are, we can’t regret how we got this way.

However, I am sorry I have a weakness for the WordPress Prompts.

Not.

*

If you were involved in a movie, would you rather be the director, the producer, or the lead performer? (Note: you can’t be the writer!).

None of the above.  I’d like to be the person just off set, with the script.  You know…the prompter.

*

We all know how to do something well — write a post that teaches readers how to do something you know and/or love to do.

  1. Sign up to The Daily Post.
  2. Check your email inbox each day.
  3. Start a new post.
  4. Choose a prompt from your Daily Post emails.
  5. Make fun of it.
  6. Thank your lucky stars that you have never been Freshly Pressed because flying under the radar means you can scoff at the prompts until the cows come home to mock your mixed metaphors.
  7. Bask in the adulation.

*

Look in the mirror. Does the person you see match the person you feel like on the inside?

No.  Without slicing myself from that funny little triangular bit at the base of the throat to the unmentionable in a family blog bit at the top of my legs, I can’t get my hands inside my body to rummage around feeling what I feel like.  I’d have to be a particularly skilled surgeon to do that.  And insane.

How much stock do you put in appearances?

A lot.  I have to wear a disguise because the WordPress Prompters have put out a hit on me.  Something about ‘norespectforourhardworkcomingupwithideas-
every
dayjustsoyoucanmakefunofus.’

*

Joke 969

17 Nov

More from the Two Ronnies.

  • In a packed programme tonight, I shall be having a word with a man who goes in for meditation, because he thinks it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.
  • And we’ll be talking to a car designer who’s crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with The Hatchback of Notre Dame.
  • We had hoped to bring you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion.
  • The House of Commons was sealed off today after police chased an escaped lunatic through the front door during Prime Minister’s question time. A spokesman at Scotland Yard said it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
  • West Mersey Police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.
  • Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred “Chuckles” Jenkins, Britain’s oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred’s jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.
  • There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done.
  • The Metropolitan Police today denied that prisoners in their custody are excessively pampered. This follows yesterday’s report that a man was hustled out of New Scotland Yard with an electric blanket over his head.
  • And we’ve just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on.
  • In the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned. 
  • Solomon F. Potts, America’s most persistent practical joker, was buried today. He’s not dead, it’s just the neighbours getting their own back.
  • My wife and I had a bit of a fight, there was some high-spirited name calling, and I stormed upstairs to fetch my birth certificate.

From IMDb

 

Boring

27 Jul

Moving poems from folder to folder

The Hub is in bed because he’s unwell.

Spud is in bed because he’s a teenager.

I thought I’d take advantage of the peace and update my poem folders.  I had a list of roughly 1500 poems which needed to be categorised.  I did that with the hard copies months ago but never got around to updating it on the computer. The title of this post will tell you why.

I moved all the As last week; then the Bs to Rs.  I still have the Ss to Zs to move and I can’t put it off any longer.

Once that’s complete, I’ll avoid matching the hard copy folders to the computer folders for as long as I can, but it will have to be done eventually.

Wake me up before you leave.

Go here for more Six Word Saturdays.  I recommend that you do – they’ve got to be more interesting than this post.

 

Clip Art

3 Jul

Here’s a clip of Spud and the corpse corpsing on stage; listen for the thud as Tito’s head hits the bedstead.  

No tenors were hurt in the making of this film.

Joke 812

13 Jun

Time for some Groucho Marx.  You’ve probably heard them all but they are always worth sharing again.

  • No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
  • Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
  • Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
  • Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well, I have others.
  • A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
  • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
  • Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
  • From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
  • My favourite poem is the one that starts ‘Thirty days hath September’ because it actually tells you something.
  • I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
  • I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
  • Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
  • I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
  • Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
  • Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
  • She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
  • I intend to live forever, or die trying.
  • I find television very educational. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

From brainyquote.

Janie's Place

Welcome to the Great White North....

Quickly in September

Her Bad Hare Days

benzeknees

A frustrated writer, who is her own worst enemy

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,109 other followers

%d bloggers like this: