Archive | 09:54

Travel Travails

10 Mar

Don't be fooled - behind this cute face lies a daft interior

You wait ages for a child, then one comes along every three minutes.  In this instance, the same child.  Spud left for school this morning in the usual manner: me hassling him and telling him he’s going to be late if he doesn’t get a move on will you just hurry UP!  and him…taking…his…time…I’ll be fine…don’t worry.  Sometimes I hate being proved right.  Our creaky door bell – creaky because the battery is dying and instead of a chirpy Bing! Bong! we get a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg…boooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggcough…splutter…fade to black – announced his return, three minutes after he had left the house two minutes late.  He missed the bus because it was five minutes early which, by my calculation, equals if a = plus2 and b = minus5 then c = too long in the bathroom with the hair gel, remainder ten, as in, leave the house ten minutes earlier tomorrow if you want to be sure of getting your bus.

He tantrummed on the doorstep along the lines of busesIhatebusesbusesarerubbishwhydowehavetohave busestheymakememiserable? for a couple of minutes; explained that he had come to tell me he was going to be late for school because he had no money on his phone i.e. that he was telling me he had no money on his phone which was why he had come to tell me that he had missed his bus, not that he had missed his bus because he had no money on his phone.  Just thought I’d better clear that up.  Then he stomped off to the bus stop for the 8:05 bus, which would make him late for school. 

I returned to the important business of and thought no more of it.   Five minutes later the familiar biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg…boooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggcough…splutter…fade to black interrupted the first chance I have had to beat my high score on Rainbow Rescue in months.  It was Spud, enraged, at the door.  He had come to tell me he had missed his second bus as a consequence of coming to tell me he had missed his first bus and now he was going to be reallllllllly late for school.  Stupid buses!  I sent him away with the warning not to come and tell me if he missed his third bus, but to take the radical decision to stay put.

Kids!  They are so selfish – it’s going to be weeks before I get close to beating my high score again.


Talking of travel travails, if you want to hear Tom Wrigglesworth’s amusing take on the horrors of train travel, go to this link:   Don’t be put off by the fact that he looks like a Marsh-wiggle; I was listening to him on Radio 4 last night and he had me laughing out loud.  But I think you only have a week to listen, so get a move on; you don’t want to miss the bus.

%d bloggers like this: