Not-so Little Bill

7 Jun

Bill is not lonely anymore: the Hub bought him Betty to keep him company.  Incidentally, Betty is to Elizabeth as Bill is to Wilhelmina.  Bill is not a boy.  The Hub checked them both out and they are girls, but I’m going to keep her name because she looks like a Bill: she’s big and butch and twice the size of Betty.  I’m not concerned that Betty will be bullied by Bill, though, because she’s a feisty little thing.  She was punching at the travel bag all the way home, and Bill has perked up a treat since she arrived.

The Hub went out and bought Betty because I was fretting over Bill being lonely; he said it was worth the £1.50 to shut me up.  What he actually said was, ‘Feel better now, darling?’ but I knew what he was thinking.   I do feel better; it is not good for animals to be alone – how many animals walked into the ark as singletons?  Okay, fish didn’t walk into the ark; someone must have carried them and my fish don’t need bicycles because I’m not going to breed them, not that I could because I have two females and technically they’re not ‘my’ fish because I’m fostering one and donating the other – which, by the way, I have yet to tell dear old nephew David; I hope his tank is big enough.

Where was I?  Oh yes, buying Betty.  The Hub went for a top-of-the-line goldfish, not one of those skanky 95p ones.  Not that you can tell: she’s sort of mottled and black in parts, like she was left mouldering in a corner of the tank until some fool who can’t tell the difference between 18 carat and 22 carat goldfishes took pity on her.  It’s why I will never own white gold (and certainly not because I prefer rubbing brass farthings): wearing it looks like I could only afford silver.  Not that I have anything against silver; it’s an affordable investment and you are less likely to get mugged wearing it in Stockport…so maybe I will wear white gold (one day) – it is expensive and safer.  At least I know my fish won’t get mugged.

Talking of mugging fish – if I told you that on the day we acquired Toby we had dog for dinner, you would think I was gross, wouldn’t you?  Should I now confess that we had fish and chips for tonight’s dinner because we still have some of our Shop Local winnings to spend?  I don’t think I will; I don’t want you to judge me.

I have worried about Bill, lonely in her empty tank which I have filled with plants and companion and oxygen tablet – the Hub is a fishianado (sorry, long pause for laughter because I crack myself up sometimes) and insisted we buy some because the tank needs oxygen.  Now I have to worry about the tank itself, which has a repaired crack in it and which was weakened by the move.  I wonder if I can buy a new tank in a shop local?


2 Responses to “Not-so Little Bill”

  1. Frank Mosley June 8, 2010 at 10:18 #

    Hi Sis,
    Why would anyone carry fish into the Ark? If I remember my bible the ark was built to save people and animals from a flood, so no real problems for the amphibians among us.

    As an aside, and a comment on the way our perception of reality
    changes, I was waiting outside Bedfordview Hospital last weekend, long story – I’ll tell you some other time, and noticed a gentleman sat on the wall having a long and animated conversation with himself. After about ten minutes he got up and walked past me and I saw the bluetooth set in his left ear. After he passed it occured to me that I had automatically assumed he was on a cel phone, whereas ten years ago I would have been sure he was barking mad and would have called for the men with the straight jackets to come and collect him.


    • tillybud June 8, 2010 at 13:41 #

      That did occur to me but I was off on a stream of consciousness and refused to be diverted to a tributary.

      As for your talking man – how true! 🙂


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