Archive | 22:35

Laughing At Housewives

15 Aug

It occurs to me that, despite the name of this blog, I have never told any housewife jokes; being a joke as a housewife myself, I never really saw the need. On your behalf, however, I abandoned my cleaning duties and spent the day trawling the net and you know what? People are mean. Or dirty. All of the jokes were either of the lover in a cupboard variety or had a horrible husband and bitchy wife. I did find one that isn’t really a joke and because by now I am a desperate housewife and need to publish today’s post, here goes (don’t blame be if it’s not funny; I do my bit):

Prison vs Being a Housewife (I won’t cite any one source because I read lots of versions of this on lots of sites):

In prison, you get three square meals a day.

At home, you cook three square meals a day and get to clean up afterwards.

In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.

At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.

At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.

At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else’s space, too, and what the heck is free time again?

In prison, you get your own personal toilet.

At home, you have to hold the bathroom door shut to stop everyone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do/find/make/organise something for them.

In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t.

At home….stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?

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