Archive | 17:14

Making An Ass Of Myself

23 Sep
Eeyore's in the Alps, Chamonix, France

Image by nikoretro via Flickr


I started this reply to Flo’s question in the comments section of my previous post, but I had so much fun with it I thought I’d post it here instead.  

‘Executive Ass’ as in ‘Executive Assistant’.  

An ass is also a bottom.  

The picture in the previous post is of Bottom in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.  Bottom (one of the earliest transformers in literature) became an ass.  Bottom was a bit of an idiot.  

Executives are often idiots therefore the job is for an Idiot’s Idiot.  

A synonym for executive is brass; the job title is thus Brass Ass.  

Some other synonyms, courtesy of  

Chief Ass
Controlling Ass
Head Ass
General Ass
President Ass
Upstairs Ass
Bureaucratic Ass
Official Ass
Presiding Ass
Ruling Ass
Supervising Ass

I’m just having fun but it’s possible that at some point these were all genuine jobs, advertised in The Guardian.  


From Wikipedia:  

Ass may refer to:  

  • Donkey
    • Asinus subgenus
    • From the above, slang for “stupid person”
  • American English informal term for buttocks
  • Arse Old English word for buttocks, from which the American English ‘ass’ is derived. Arse is nowadays used as an informal term for buttocks in British English

Again in Wikipedia, a male donkey is known as a jack.  All donkeys are hard-working.  Hence, when Abigail Bartlet calls Jed a ‘jack ass’ in The West Wing (more than once, I might add), she is not really insulting the greatest fictional American president who never lived, but reminding him of how industrious he is.  

A female is known as a jenny and her gestation period is twelve months.  She’s a ninny because it’s longer than for a bunny or a nanny goat though she’s canny because expectant mummies tend to be bonny (despite often needing the dunny) and without even a whinny she will regain her figure because vegans tend to be skinny and I’m stopping now because this is no longer funny.  


 Hee haw.  




I’m Still Job Hunting

23 Sep

I spotted this one today, from The Arts Council:

Wanted: Executive Ass

I’ve so many jokes and so little class

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