Lifting The Mood

12 Nov

 

The Laughing Housewife has been somewhat sombre recently so I have raided joke websites to cheer things up (always a good standby when I have nothing to blog about).

From http://www.jokesaboutchildren.com/children_joke_five.html

School Excuse Notes 

  • Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
  • Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.  
  • Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
  • Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
  • Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
  • Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. 

I thought this next one was appropriate, given last night’s weather and the four huge recycling bins and their contents now scattered around my garden:

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep with Daddy.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice, “The big sissy.”

*

This next lot is from http://www.broadcaster.org.uk/section2/jokes/parentingjokes.html

The Baby-Sitter

A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football.

One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed.

At 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, “No.”

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, “I’m here, Mom, but he won’t let me go home!”

In the Bath

Little five year old Johnny was in the bath tub, and his mom was washing his hair. She said to him, “Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You need a haircut again.”

Little Johnny replied, “Maybe you should stop watering it so much.”

*

And finally: I can’t embed this but I recommend you take a look if you have two or more children.

  
  
 
 

 

    

   

 
 

 

 

6 Responses to “Lifting The Mood”

  1. vivinfrance November 12, 2010 at 14:23 #

    Great fun. Your excuse notes: a true one from my primary school teacher sister-in-law in Scotland:

    I’m sorry Morag hasnae come to school. She hasnae been, but I’ve gave her a pill and when she’s been she’ll come.

    Like

  2. slpmartin November 12, 2010 at 17:26 #

    Love the excuses…brought some smiles this morning for me.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud November 13, 2010 at 10:22 #

      Glad you started your day with a smile. 🙂

      Like

  3. flo November 12, 2010 at 18:56 #

    For all those desperate to know how to spell diarrhoea on their school notes, this is what I was told;
    Dashing
    In
    A
    Rush
    Run
    Hurry
    Or
    Else
    Accident.

    No, you can’t pinch it as an acrostic poem Tilly!

    Like

    • Tilly Bud November 13, 2010 at 10:23 #

      Meanie! Can I at least write it in my notebook? Direrear is one of my bogey words.

      Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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