My Dog Is In Season And I Am In Distress

2 Jan

It’s that time of year: Molly is on heat and we have covered all seats and ourselves with old throws.  She spends her time licking her bottom and ignoring my reproachful and repellant looks.

I have never been around a dog in season before.  I can’t say I’m in favour of it.  I don’t think she is either: she appears confused and doesn’t know what to do with herself when her tongue is at rest.  Nature is disgusting.

The Hub has taken charge, having grown up around breeding dogs and cats.  He is a great believer in female domestic animals having a litter before sterilisation particularly when, like Molly, they have had a phantom pregnancy, so he has found a mate for her in Bolton.  He and Spud are on their way there now, with Molly primped and perfumed to look her best for the great ugly brute about to violate her.  He is another Yorkshire Terrier called Toby.  Our own Toby is de-testicled and hasn’t paid her any attention at all.  I guess, if you can’t find love at home you will play away….

I couldn’t go with them.  My excuse is that I’m taking down the tree, but really it’s because I feel like a mother pimping out a beloved child and I can’t bear to watch her deflowering.  The Hub, of course, has taken a camera – for a picture of the father, I hasten to add.  He’s going to document the process, from innocent little girl to being loaned out as a baby factory to motherhood to having her beautiful babies snatched from her bosom…my dog, the pawn star.

10 Responses to “My Dog Is In Season And I Am In Distress”

  1. Alienhippy January 2, 2011 at 15:33 #

    I just loved this post, poor little thing…but you did make me giggle so.
    I have just been taking note on my Rotty actually. He has developed a singing voice and a bit of a dance when I am singing and playing my guitar. I have found this very encouraging and quite amusing today.
    Love and hugs.
    Lisa. Xx 🙂

    Like

  2. vivinfrance January 2, 2011 at 18:26 #

    Poor Tilly, the trials of motherhood.

    If this is her first heat, isn’t she a bit young? Generally breeders don’t mate a bitch until the second. I hope you have somewhere in the house where 8-9 pups can chew everything and deposit their s…t everywhere without reprisals! My Mum used to breed bull terriers. Great fun but hard work.

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    • Tilly Bud January 2, 2011 at 23:33 #

      No, it’s her second at least, and she’s had a phantom pregnancy as well. She’s nearly three.

      We’ve had pups before, and kittens, but I’d blocked it out until now 🙂

      Like

  3. musings January 3, 2011 at 08:26 #

    I’ve never actually owned an animal so I don’t really know this process. I loved reading your post about it and had to giggle. Sorry.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 3, 2011 at 12:48 #

      Never apologise for finding me funny. 😀

      Like

  4. poetcolette January 3, 2011 at 13:58 #

    Brilliant!!!

    {what is a phantom pregnancy? I’m not a breeder of any sort but human…}

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 3, 2011 at 14:11 #

      The dog’s body thinks it is pregnant and shows signs such as engorged teats, nesting instinct and so on. Mary Tudor had the same thing.

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      • vivinfrance January 3, 2011 at 16:29 #

        and Queen Anne – or was that dropsy. Take no notice.

        Like

  5. Chloe January 16, 2011 at 03:22 #

    Hi Tilly – oh, I remember when Stormy was in season…for her first and last time. Poor little girl didn’t have a clue what was happening to her. You’re right…nature is disgusting! lol

    Looking forward to seeing the pics of the pups though when they arrive! I might even be tempted…. 😀 xx

    Like

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