The Wackiest But Most Useful Advice I’ve Ever Received.

Image by Thai Jasmine (Keep Smiling.g..g.g :-)) via Flickr

What a shame!  I’ve already blogged on postaday2011’s prompt over on sapoems, just a few days ago.  If you didn’t read it, here’s the link.

What is the wackiest but most useful advice you’ve ever received, Laughing Housewife? I hear you ask.

My reply? How not to be eaten by a crocodile. 

You weren’t interested at first, but you’re itching to check it out now, aren’t you?

I imagine that even if you only need to use that advice once in your life, you’ll be glad to know it.  It’s why I’ve never forgotten it.

The other piece of advice I’ve never forgotten, which isn’t wacky but has saved me a lifetime of housework and is therefore worth passing on: don’t put it down; put it away.

If you can bludgeon your family into following it as well, you’ll be my fan for life.

Bappy Hirthday, Spud

  Spud is fifteen today.  This is the same child who was nearly ten pounds at birth (thank goodness for caesareans) and looked like the ‘V’ alien baby.  He was the biggest child born in the hospital that week and staff from all over the wing popped in to the nursery every day to have a look at the little monster. 

He used to stick his hand down my top as a toddler, for no reason that I ever learned.  He liked to load a toy shopping trolley with shoes, walk them up and down the hall, and repeat to himself, ‘Shooss’.  He developed a taste for formal attire at the age of three, and went everywhere in a waistcoat and dicky bow.

He’d better wear one tonight: he’s having a fictional party.  Yesterday at school, some of his friends joked about him having a party; then someone created an event on Facebook.  Despite his repeated denials, he has had at least thirty messages asking him if it’s true.  I posted a message to say that it’s not, but anyone who turns up will be offered a slice of pizza, a glass of coke and a duster: if that many people are coming, they can make themselves useful.  I already raised him; I’m not cleaning up after him as well.