The Laughing Housewife And A Cast Of Minions Proudly Presents: Who-He?

3 Feb
Toilet Paper Roll

Image via Wikipedia

Something that keeps coming up lately is back history: when I’m new to a blog I like to know something about the writer, such as age, family, hair colour, bank details.  The usual stuff.  Many blogs have running gags or themes; many writers have history that it’s necessary to know in order to fully enjoy what I’m reading so, prompted by Cin (not ‘sin’; I’m a good girl, I am.  Cin left a comment the other day about just this thing), here’s the story so far. 

Once done, I’m going to have a bash at making another blog page where this info will be stored.  Wish me luck and if you never hear from me again, know that technology finally killed me and I love you all, each and every one of my dear readers (that’s you, Tory Boy; and Robert).

The Laughing Housewife

That’s me.  In my late forties at the moment (how did that happen?).  Born in the capital of Ireland (Liverpool); grew up in Wallasey and Runcorn.  Emigrated most reluctantly with my family to South Africa at age eighteen.  You can read all about that at my other blog South Africa – A Love/Hate Story.  Don’t expect funny though; I wasn’t a laughing teenager.  It’s mostly poetry and angst and angst-ridden poetry: you think Spiderman was miserable?  Meet me.

I lived there fourteen years and came back to the UK in 1996.  I’ve got a degree in Literature from the Open University.  I’m married to:

The Hub

He’s from the capital of Crimeland (Wythenshawe, Manchester) but spent three years at my school in Runcorn, where we didn’t meet.  He lived in South Africa for eight years; had three years back in the UK; and then went back to South Africa in 1981.  We met in a car park in a tiny dorp in the middle of nowhere.  Ain’t life strange? 

We were engaged after three months and married three years later.  It’s lasted twenty-five years so far but I figure, if the three motif recurs, one of us will be free in eight years’ time.  Or even five, because we will have been together thirty-three years in 2008.  You maths wizards out there might be scratching your pencils right now but factor in that we married in the middle of a year and that you really don’t need to care about this stuff, and just take my word for it.

We fight a lot.  Squabble, really.  All day long.  Who said what to whom about when and why and where.  Stupid stuff, but we are both easily irritated; and irritating.  I hang onto him because he fixes the computer and even does it without moaning if it wasn’t me who broke it.  He moans a lot.  What I really love about him, though, is his ability to put down the toilet seat and replace the toilet roll.  Things like that matter after twenty-eight years.  He is forever leaving love notes for me and being romantic, but I try not to mind.  I must have not minded it at least twice, because we have two children:

Tory Boy

Born in Johannesburg, he is the first fruit of my loins and Conservative Prime Minister-in-Waiting.  Currently in his last year at Lancaster University, where he’s studying Politics & Philosophy.  That’s kind of our fault: the Hub was telling him while he was still in my womb that he was going to university.  The Hub and I are great believers in getting an education and thinking for yourself and all that junk. 

Tory Boy spent his whole life listening to his parents argue about politics and issues of the day and who put the toilet roll tube in the wrong recycling box, so I suppose a career in politics was inevitable, given his megalomaniac tendencies: the first thing he’s going to do when he takes over the world is send all the teachers to Antarctica and put the toilet roll tube wherever he feels like.  There should have been a swear word-well in that last sentence [put the toilet roll tube wherever he swear word-well feels like] but he’s scared of his father and respects his mother so there isn’t.  He’s also a good big brother to:

Spud Bud

Like Princess Diana, I, too, have an heir and spare.  He was born in Alberton, South Africa and cost us a fortune because we didn’t have medical aid at that point and it wasn’t a natural birth.  It would have been cheaper to adopt.  Still, we decided to hang on to him.  Well, he’s family.  He worked out as a good deal in the end because he’s on a full bursary at an excellent grammar school here in Stockport, where we now reside.

Stockport

Features a lot.  As does the Viaduct, the railway station and the Stockport Express.  

Toby & Molly

Our dogs and the cutest Yorkies on the planet.  We have a fish tank and thirteen fish, four shrimp and two butterfly loaches.  Until recently, we also had gerbils.

Also, you will find that a lot of dead pet references tend to appear in this blog.  Pay attention because I may set a test at any time.  We have three cats and seven gerbils buried in our garden (my brother says we are on the RSPCA’s hit list).  We loved them all, but the Hub is daftly ridiculous about animals.

Neighbours

There are only two that I mention with any frequency:

The Boy Nik

An ex-addict who isn’t really a boy but talks and acts like one, and who I first met when he knocked on my door just before one Christmas to ask me to phone the nearest prison so he could visit his mate; and who has never stopped knocking since, for a hammer, a bin bag, a spade…umm, I’ve just made a connection here.  I’ll get back to you on this one.

Next Door

Housewife whose husband works away and who spends all her time hammering nails into our shared wall.  I think she’s building a secret extension in my lounge.

A Few Important Facts

Necessary for comprehension.

  • Maltesers – probably the single-most important influence in my life.  No Maltesers for Christmas sets the tone for the following excruciating (for my family) year.
  • The hub has severe CFS/ME and a host of other ailments which means he spends all his time in pain and a lot of time unable to do stuff; and by ‘stuff’ I mean if he takes a shower then that’s it for his day. 
  • As a result of his illness he hasn’t been able to work for many years.  He became ill when I had a baby and six-year old on my hands.  Before he learned to manage his CFS he would spend weeks in bed, unable to get up, so we ended up on benefits once our money ran out.  It’s one of the reasons I got my degree, so I could go back to work once the boys were old enough.  That plan didn’t work out so well because I graduated at the height of the recession.  Timing is everything.
  • Christmas and Maltesers must be done to excess; everything else is showing off.
  • We live in a council house on a council estate.  Expect a lot of posts about crime.
  • Poetry – I write it.  Deal with it.  Or ignore it, if you like: this is the internet, after all; how would I know whether you read my poems or not?
  • I’m not soppy.  Mush embarrasses me.  What can I say?  I’m British.  I’m so un-soppy that I even have a special category – ‘Feeling Sentimental’ (see right under ‘Category Cloud’) – for days when the hormones take over and a nice thought bursts out.
  • I make up words.  Did you spot the one under ‘Toby & Molly’?  I figure if Shakespeare could do it, so could I.  Pity I don’t have my own theatre in which to try them out, but them’s the breaks. 
  • My motto: you can never have too many Maltesers (the roof of your mouth is raw from eating seven boxes on Christmas Day?  Suck it up, you wimp!)
  • 

And Finally…God

I’m a Christian – I know, incredible, isn’t it?  I wouldn’t have believed it if I’d been reading me, either.  I have a strong and enduring faith, but that’s not what this blog is about.  This blog is about poking fun at life: if something funny happens in church, you’ll hear about it; but otherwise, no preaching.

On the strong and enduring faith bit: the Hub reckons if it was that strong I wouldn’t have married what he calls an ‘agnostic’ and I call ‘a rabid atheist’.  The Hub is really annoying sometimes.  We have learned not to argue about religion (much), but everything else is on the table.  Unless he feels like winding me up and we fall out over the monarchy (he’s against it) and I swear I really am killing or leaving him this time.

Happy reading!

25 Responses to “The Laughing Housewife And A Cast Of Minions Proudly Presents: Who-He?”

  1. kolembo February 3, 2011 at 11:30 #

    Wonderful. I enjoyed this background, it’s clear, informative and endeavoring. You know, Britain and the British changed my life. I haven’t been for more than ten years and the noises we hear from over here frighten me, but Britain and my friends there remain firmly in my heart.

    Like

  2. sarsm February 3, 2011 at 13:44 #

    In a word – Fantastic!

    Pleased to ‘get-to-know-you!’

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 3, 2011 at 20:01 #

      And you too! Anyone who uses the word ‘fantastic’ in relation to my blog is always welcome.

      Er, you did mean fantastic in the ‘brilliant’ sense rather than the ‘impossible to believe’ sense…?

      Like

      • sarsm February 4, 2011 at 10:52 #

        Absolutely the ‘brilliant’ fantastic :-).

        Like

        • Tilly Bud February 4, 2011 at 10:56 #

          Oh bless you! I wasn’t really fishing for a compliment (but you can’t have it back; it’s mine). 🙂

          Like

  3. Debbie February 3, 2011 at 14:33 #

    Nice to read the background! Guess I should do something similar myself actually. I do like people who give me (well, allow me to steal) blog post ideas. I give up on the made up word, though. Where is it?

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 3, 2011 at 20:03 #

      Oh, please do! I love potted histories.

      I’m studiously ignoring your last question (today’s second post refers).

      Like

  4. Marsha February 3, 2011 at 15:46 #

    I read and enjoy all of your posts. This was completely delightful.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 3, 2011 at 20:04 #

      What a lovely thing to say. Thank you 🙂

      Like

  5. Alison February 3, 2011 at 16:37 #

    Debbie – I guessed it was daftly – although I’ve used it before. It could have been loaches but I just assumed it was something I knew nothing about

    Tilly Bud – I too got my literature degree from the OU – graduated last year but I did for the fun

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 3, 2011 at 20:06 #

      Alison, you guessed right *blushes at her mistake, in particular (no adverbs getting past me any morely)in front of a fellow OU alumni*

      Wasn’t it a wonderful experience? Did you get to any summer schools?

      Like

  6. Cindy February 3, 2011 at 17:02 #

    I loved reading this and did a little dance of joy (think Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch) when I saw you’d mentioned me 🙂

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 3, 2011 at 20:07 #

      You’re welcome, Tomdy. You inspired it, after all; and now you don’t have to trawl through the rest of those tedious posts.

      Like

  7. gigihawaii February 3, 2011 at 17:14 #

    Well, keep on carrying on! I am glad you don’t preach. I guess Hub cured you of that. It’s too bad he is too sick to work, and to be in constant pain must be awful.

    Good luck and best wishes, Tilly!

    Aloha.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 3, 2011 at 20:08 #

      Aloha to you too 🙂 How international am I????

      Like

  8. slpmartin February 3, 2011 at 18:01 #

    Well that was fun to read…thanks for sharing.;-)

    Like

  9. Chloe February 3, 2011 at 19:58 #

    Lots of fun to read – your writing is great and very entertaining. Also great to learn more about you and your family xx

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 3, 2011 at 20:09 #

      Thanks Chloe. If you make it to our next meeting, I’ll tell you even more. Not trying to put you off coming, honest.

      Like

      • Chloe February 3, 2011 at 20:18 #

        LOL – looking forward to it 😀 xx

        Like

  10. vivinfrance February 3, 2011 at 20:46 #

    Tillybud, nice to see it all in the one place. Could you drawing pin it to a sidebar or something.

    I went to a summer school – in Caen, about an hour away from here! It was just about the greatest fun of my adult life, and I wrote my first poems there. The irony is that they were in French!

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 3, 2011 at 23:55 #

      I managed to make a new page! Am I amazing or what?

      I love that your first poems were in French. No one would think you’d only been writing poetry for a couple of years, especially when you tackle pantoums and villanelles and things.

      Like

  11. musings February 4, 2011 at 02:16 #

    This was so wonderful, Tilly. I did know most of this, but I really found this so helpful and interesting. Wow! I’m so sorry the Hub is having such an awful time of it. I’m sure it makes it that much more difficult to be cheerful if he’s having to deal with the illness.

    You’re right that it truly helps to have a background on people whose blogs we enjoy to get a better picture of what we’re reading.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud February 4, 2011 at 08:11 #

      Everyone should do it from time to time (hint hint).

      Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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