Nursery Rhymes For Modern Times

21 Feb
Illustration from Sing a Song for Sixpence (18...

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I was at my writing group yesterday and the prompt was to freewrite using the first line of a nursery rhyme.  The first one here was one I wrote some years ago and it popped into my head straightaway, so I decided to write more of the same.

I apologise now for the second one; I think the whole incident was tragic, but I have a streak of black humour and sometimes I can’t help myself.


Mary, Mary
Quite contrary
Hide the milk
She don’t do dairy

If wishes were horses
Beggars would ride
If horses wear shoes
They’re electrified

Ding dong dell
Pussy’s in the well
There’s been no water for many a year
So that explains the smell

Sing a song of sixpence
A pocket full of cash
Is a rare, forgotten thing
Since the economy crashed


If you’ve got any of your own, please share them.

15 Responses to “Nursery Rhymes For Modern Times”

  1. Harry Nicholson February 21, 2011 at 12:12 #

    Tom Fleck the cowman’s son
    Took his bow and away he ran
    And found a foe of the manor born
    On Flodden field in flowers forlorn


  2. granny1947 February 21, 2011 at 14:30 #

    Hehehe…love ding dong dell!!!


  3. Pseu February 21, 2011 at 19:25 #

    Here’s a few I wrote earlier


    There was a crooked man,
    who walked a crooked mile,
    he found a crooked pound coin,
    upon a crooked stile,

    he bought a crooked lotto ticket,
    and won a crooked prize,
    and went abroad to sunny Spain,
    which was very, very wise.

    This little piggy

    This little piggy went to Margate,
    this little piggy went to Rome,
    this little piggy visited the barrier reef,
    and this little piggy sucked the bone,
    and this little piggy chased the big bad wolf,
    woof, woof, woof,
    all the way home.

    Monday’s Child

    Monday’s Child is full of face,
    Tuesday’s child is a pure disgrace,
    Wednesday’s child is full of anger,
    Thursday’s child full of hunger,
    Friday’s child is terribly slow,
    Saturday’s child is a thief you know,
    but the child that is born on the Sabbath day,
    just always, wants everything
    to go her way.

    There’s a hole…

    There’s a hole in the ozone,
    dear Lisa, dear Lisa,
    there’s a hole in the ozone, dear Lisa,
    a hole.

    Then patch it dear Henry,
    dear Henry, dear Henry,
    then patch it dear Henry, dear Henry
    patch it.

    With what shall I patch it?
    dear Lisa, dear Lisa, dear Lisa,
    with what shall I patch it dear Lisa,
    with what?

    Ask Cameron dear Henry,
    dear Henry, dear Henry,
    Ask Cameron dear Henry,
    ask him….

    But he hasn’t a clue dear,
    a clue dear, a clue dear,
    but he hasn’t a clue dear, a clue dear,
    not a clue.


  4. Alienhippy February 21, 2011 at 20:50 #

    I got one I just made it up for ya…LOL

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a cat
    Humpty Dumpty said,”fancy that!
    Why didn’t he move the stupid cat?”
    Cat said, “You should have looked, you big fat pratt!”


  5. slpmartin February 21, 2011 at 23:31 #

    Rather like the last one of the group…lots of truth in that one. 🙂


  6. nrhatch February 22, 2011 at 03:48 #

    You apologized for the 2nd one?
    What about the 3rd one?
    Are horses more important than cats?
    Who sez? 😉

    I keed, I keed. Playing with Nursery Rhymes is FUN! Here’s one I did some time ago:

    Peter, Peter, Mushroom Eater
    Wrote a poem with perfect meter
    He put it on a web-based site
    Where it was lauded day and night

    Then our “funny fungus” feeder
    Wrote a poem that went still deeper
    It blew our minds time and again
    With wisdom from the depths of Zen


    • Tilly Bud February 22, 2011 at 16:32 #

      Love it! Thanks for sharing.

      I apologised for the second cause it was just in the news; as the parent of three dead cats, I’m gutted, but allowed to joke about it.

      I know, it’s political correctness gone mad.


  7. Madeleine Begun Kane February 22, 2011 at 04:59 #

    Those are fun!


  8. earlybird February 22, 2011 at 10:08 #

    fun stuff! you see what I mean about you preferring writing to cooking? keep writing. Eat sandwiches. 🙂


    • Tilly Bud February 22, 2011 at 16:33 #

      Yuk! Sandwiches are evil. Hate sandwiches. Hate making sandwiches. Don’t give me sandwiches.


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