Archive | 14:10

The Lure Of Averages

2 Mar

The only thing I remember from O Level Maths is the mean, the mode and the median: three ways of finding an average.  Here’s my take on the average female today:

Mean Girls

Fifteen year-old Spud was on the bus the other day.  A girl tapped him on the shoulder.  He turned to her and she said, ‘Oh.  I was going to ask you out but you look about twelve.’ 

Spud laughed about it.  The Hub thought of a few cutting come-backs Spud could have used.  I was all for going down there, riding the bus until she got back on, and smashing her face in.

à la mode

It seems to be the fashion at the moment for my female friends to give me stuff.  Vivinfrance made me the beautiful quilt I wrote about.  She sent another one last week, for the Hub.  Isn’t that lovely? 

Mangetout happened to be visiting the UK last week and sent me the largest box of Maltesers I have ever seen.  Isn’t that lovely?  No one else, of course, saw it.  I made sure of that.

My friend Elone sent me two gorgeous fancy tops she thought I might like.  Isn’t that lovely?

Thank you, lovely ladies.  Your generosity really is appreciated.  Would you like to add to your goodness and join me on a little bus trip?  I’m sure we could take her.

Median

I got nothing.  Unless you count a ‘D’ in my O Level.  Yeah, I got nothing.

Conclusion

Young Girls: bad

Old Girls: good

*

(

Big Tent February 28th

2 Mar

This week’s Big Tent prompt was the above Wordle, and also these three phrases:  “Say more,” “There is also the matter of ____” and “He started by _____.”

I love Wordles, but a lot of poets dislike forcing the words into a cohesive poem: the goal is to use all the words in the Wordle.  It’s okay if you can’t: the goal is also to get writers writing.  I haven’t used any.  This came out instead. 

 

On Wordles

For Viv, who hates them

There is also the matter of Wordles:
those linguistic, logistical hurdles. 
Use all the words if you daredle
but watch the poetic cream curdle.

%d bloggers like this: