How To Tickle My Fancy

Image via Wikipedia

Before I begin, I make no apology for the contents of today’s post; I can’t – I’m too busy laughing.

This one is just to warm you up:

To our email inbox from Realcycle.  Realcycle, like Freegle, is a Freecycle splinter group – what’s going on out there in freebie land?  Some sort of civil war with the right to own whole barns of tat at stake?

 
From: **********
Date: 08/04/2011 16:37:16
To: Realcycle-Manchester@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Realcycle-Manchester]
WANTED: unwanted pounds, M6

 
I will collect any unwanted pounds Sterling.

 

Won’t we all?  Wish I’d thought of it first.

*

This next one was in yesterday’s Star (and it’s not a tabloid).  I’m going to share extracts for your delectation, but you can read the whole article here, if you can stomach it.  This should bring an influx of weird to my search list.

Headline: Penis museum gets human specimen.

You can see why that might catch my eye, can’t you?  And before you say ‘no’, remember you are still reading this. 

If you are wondering about the donor,

“He liked to be in the limelight, you know? He was a funny guy,” he said. “He was a boaster, a braggart… He liked to be provocative.”

The 95-year-old Icelander’s pickled penis will be the main attraction in one of his country’s most bizarre museums.

I bet it will. 

But wait!  There’s more:

Several people had pledged their penises over the years

Note the use of ‘people’, not ‘men’.  Did I miss something in Biology class?

We are informed that

Highlights of the museum’s collection include a 170cm sperm whale penis preserved in formaldehyde, lampshades made from bull testicles and what the museum described as an “unusually big” penis bone from a Canadian walrus.

Gotta love that phrase ‘unusually big’.  I have to visit this place.

The museum’s founder relates how 

colleagues brought him whale penises as gifts.

That must have been a surprise on Christmas morning. 

Apparently,

Photos posted to the museum’s website show small army of ghostly, whitish penises stuffed into jars

and there are

other penis-related craft items.

Bet you won’t find any at Hobbycraft.

Joke 21

This is an old ‘un but a good ‘un:

My best friend ran away with my wife.
It’s only been three days and I really miss him.