Congratulations Tory Boy: You Survived Me

18 Apr


My little boy is twenty-one today.  I’m amazed he made it; I was such a nervous mother.  Also a boring one: I’m going to repeat some of his favourite criticisms of me, which I think I have mentioned before.  Indulge me.

I took him for his first check up at ten days old.  The midwife told me off for overdoing it a little on the clothing:

  • all-in-one vest
  • socks
  • disposable nappy
  • rubbers
  • babygrow
  • cardigan
  • all-in-one coat thing
  • hat
  • mittens
  • blanket

In a South African winter, when all we needed was a sweater for cool days.  I don’t know how he didn’t spontaneously combust.

Did you notice the disposable nappy and rubbers, by the way?  I used terry nappies but had disposables for trips out.  I wasn’t sure if he needed the rubbers but decided to err on the side of having the midwife in stitches on the floor.

Daddy, Mummy and Visiting Uncle decided to take a walk with Baby.  Baby’s pram wasn’t in the mood, hitting a rock and pitching Baby out onto the gravel.  Mummy wet herself laughing (nervous condition, I swear) when Baby hit the gravel face-first.  Daddy gathered up Baby, comforting him while cursing laughing Mummy and made sure to grass Mummy up to Baby as soon as cognition set in.  Baby has never let me forget it.

First time on a school trip: I made him wear bright orange raincoat, rain pants, and wellies.  Everyone laughed at him. 

First time on a scooter: I insisted he wear helmet, elbow and shin pads to wheel twenty yards outside the house.

First day of high school: I walked him to the bus stop.

First hint of Saddam unleashing his WMDs on us: I told him to keep his mobile on so I could call him at school if nuclear war broke out.

If that boy doesn’t emigrate to get away from me at the first opportunity, I have done my job well.

Happy birthday darling.  I’m sorry for being your mother.

35 Responses to “Congratulations Tory Boy: You Survived Me”

  1. sarsm April 18, 2011 at 09:49 #

    Awww… Happy Birthday from all of us here in Germany too!!

    I have to show this to my children so they know it’s not just me ;-).


  2. viewfromtheside April 18, 2011 at 10:14 #

    happy birthday to him , and for you for surviving 21 years of being a very careful mother


  3. Hanna April 18, 2011 at 10:53 #

    This is why God told us to be kind to our parents. No matter what, they all do what they do out of love :). You are such a blessed mother with such a very great boy ^_^! Happy birthday!


  4. vivinfrance April 18, 2011 at 10:55 #

    It is human nature that our young are sometimes ashamed or embarrassed by their parents – I know mine were. They hadn’t invented disposable nappies when my offspring needed them, nor did I have a washing machine -sighs in self-pity. But like you, looking at the big picture and the end product, our mistakes seem to have worked out OK in the end, and our children become our friends. Later they get their revenge, by reversing roles!

    Babygro: we used to call them grow-bags.


  5. David King April 18, 2011 at 10:55 #

    Hearty congratulations and every blessing to you both.


    • Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 13:56 #

      Thank you. I hate to say it, but the Hub deserves a little of the credit. If nothing else, he rescued Tory Boy from my folly 🙂


  6. earlybird April 18, 2011 at 12:28 #

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Tory Boy and well done Tilly Bud for surviving 21 years!


    • Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 13:59 #

      Thanks. At least if he goes wrong now they can’t blame me.


  7. Slowvelder April 18, 2011 at 13:03 #

    Happy birthday offspring. You have done well mom – boys need to learn how to handle embarrassment 🙂


    • Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 14:00 #

      Well they’ve had plenty of practice with me, I assure you 🙂


  8. flo April 18, 2011 at 13:45 #

    Happy Birthday Tory Boy. You can’t swap your mum, but it’s not too late to join the Labour Party!


    • Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 14:02 #

      I haven’t laughed so much in ages 😀 😀 😀


  9. Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 14:03 #

    Thanks to everyone for your good wishes. Tory Boy is having a great day.


  10. kateshrewsday April 18, 2011 at 14:22 #

    Happy birthday, Tory Boy! Your mother has ensured you become a legend in your own lifetime. May this be the beginning of something fabulous.


    • Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 14:55 #

      What a lovely thing to say. Thank you 🙂


  11. nrhatch April 18, 2011 at 15:24 #

    Happy Birthday, Tory! We share a common bond . . . my mother let go of the stroller/pram with me in it and I went flying down the hillside, landing face first in the gravel. I split my tongue open. Wanna see? 😛

    FUN post, Tilly. Love the photo. What a cutie.


  12. Cindy April 18, 2011 at 16:27 #

    Happy birthday Tory Boy! (Your mother is perfectly normal, you know).


    • Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 18:23 #

      If enough of you say it he might believe it 🙂


  13. slpmartin April 18, 2011 at 17:15 #

    Happy Birthday Tory Boy!


  14. musings April 18, 2011 at 17:38 #

    Happy Birthday Tory Boy and you too, Tilly! With a gorgeous smile like that and cherub face, I can see why you wanted to protect him so much. Loved this post!


    • Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 18:24 #

      Thanks Kay. Tell me I’m not the only neurotic mother in the world?


  15. Tinman April 18, 2011 at 19:58 #

    Happy Birthday Tory Boy!

    My mum always said it was a miracle us first-borns ever survived, we were just used as practice so parents could get it right next time.

    Happy day to you too, Tilly, you must be very proud. x


    • Tilly Bud April 18, 2011 at 20:48 #

      That’s what I always say! You practice on the first one. By number four they’re lucky if you remember to feed them once a week.


  16. Pseu April 18, 2011 at 22:10 #

    And will he be embarrassed by this post too?

    Had you refined your technique for second child?

    Happy Birthday, Tory Boy


    • Tilly Bud April 19, 2011 at 11:23 #

      If by ‘refined’ you mean ‘too busy to care’, then yes.


  17. leo April 19, 2011 at 10:17 #

    Please do not say sorry,every mother is great !
    Happy everyday little boy~


  18. Toryboy April 22, 2011 at 05:18 #

    Hey all,
    Just wanted to comment and say thank you for all the Birthday Wishes! (Albeit, several days late due to Uni and y’know, being all student-y and late :P)
    And Flo, No. Just no. Never. Not ever. Not even a teensy-weensy-bit of a smidgeon of a chance of that ever happening. No. *Shudders* 😛

    Thank you all, and thank you Mum, for this blog-post and not screwing me up too much 😀



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