Image by jlseagull via Flickr
Tory Boy phoned me. Today is Judgement Day. But don’t panic, it will probably change – it’s been Judgement Day four times before:
You can check for yourself, here.
I hope you’ve made a will. Not sure who you’ll leave it to, though, because anyone not wearing two million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day.
Have you got a hat?
Image by The Library of Congress via Flickr
I have a busy weekend ahead: a visitor today; two more either tomorrow or Saturday; and another couple on Easter Monday. That’s wonderful; I love receiving visitors.
Here’s the downside…dust. I have to dust. I have to show them that the stuff I write in my blog is a fabrication and I am, in fact, a tireless and dedicated housewife.
The truth, of course, is that I am a tired and intoxicated housewife. You don’t get to be this funny* without a little dust, a little alcohol and a whole lot of stumbling around in the mind, wondering where you put the duster because you’re pretty sure you bought one once.
A mathematical diagram to explain my dilemma:
VISITORS 🙂
*
*
*
dust 😦
*
If I was any good at maths, the dust would be higher than the visitors in this diagram – or is that social sciences? Social ineptitude? Sorry* housework, probably.
Of course, if I was really good at maths, I’d be earning a living from it and paying someone else to dust. Wish I’d paid attention in class now. I knew something didn’t add up.
*
*My adjective of choice; the Hub might have a slightly different one.
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, “Not yet.”
A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, “Not yet.”
Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?”
And the mother says, “When the baby cries.”
So they ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?”
The new mother says, “I forgot where I put it.”
I am a little fat. I like food; what can I say? I have dull hair: mousey. I don’t wear much make-up and have no need of a dressing table. If I look like a bag lady, I chose my own clothes. If I look nice, the Hub picked them for me. Despite all this, I am a little vain. This photograph is from 2003. I had to go back that far to find one of me that I liked. But I don’t really care: my husband still thinks I’m beautiful and if he doesn’t, he loves me enough to lie about it. I’m lucky. I have two boys. They never lie to me. Still, you can't have everything.
The Laughing Housewife 
I have the funniest readers in the blogosphere (not necessarily ha ha…)