This one came in yesterday:
Date: 04/24/11
To: StockportFreegle
Subject: [StockportFreegle] WANTED: Wedding dress
Random I know. I need a wedding dress for Friday. Long story.
Please can someone help? Size 14 i’m guessing. It’s for me to wear, and I have no idea what dress size I would be as I am a man!?
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I soooooo want to hear that long story; don’t you?
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I am a little fat. I like food; what can I say? I have dull hair: mousey. I don’t wear much make-up and have no need of a dressing table. If I look like a bag lady, I chose my own clothes. If I look nice, the Hub picked them for me. Despite all this, I am a little vain. This photograph is from 2003. I had to go back that far to find one of me that I liked. But I don’t really care: my husband still thinks I’m beautiful and if he doesn’t, he loves me enough to lie about it. I’m lucky. I have two boys. They never lie to me. Still, you can't have everything.
You should write this up as a short story! 😀
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Fiction’s not my thing; it has no appeal to me as a writer. You do it 🙂
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This is really funny! I agree with hatch…write it up. Make it a poetry prompt to get the bride’s story. Fun! Interesting. Maybe even poignant? Ridiculous? Sad? Anything but – ho-hum. 🙂
~Brenda
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Or you do it 🙂
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Damn, I would have lent him my wedding dress. I was bigger then, but it’s such a little accordian that it still fits somewhat, even with my chicken neck sticking out!
I’m hoping it was for a real wedding. That would be cool. But it was probably for a flashmob, because people really plan for their weddings these days, and I know THAT one would NOT have been “shotgun,” LOL. Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/new-to-this-church-easter-2011/
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A flashmob – not bad; but I wish it was something else 🙂
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Love it! Definitely a good prompt!
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You could write it up!
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The mind boggles!
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No sweat! Fancy dress party. Sorry, I didn’t want to rain on your parade: it really would make a cracking short story, maybe flash fiction.
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I’m drenched! Killjoy 😦
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Why don’t you all write a story and link back here? I would soooo like to read them.
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How’s this?
Please can someone help? Size 14 i’m guessing. It’s for me to wear, and I have no idea what dress size I would be as I am a man!?
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Reply from Chastened Charlie of Cheadle.
I would love to help you, but a) I’m rather more portly than a size 14 and b) I keep hoping he’ll change his mind again, so I must keep this bit of frou frou just in case.
Reply from Transported Transvestite from Taunton
Your ad is most appealing. Sorry I can’t help, but maybe you could try on some of your sister’s gear, or your mother’s, just to get a better idea of size. If you’re a size 20, I might be able to accommodate you.
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Reply from Weeping Winnie of Windsor
You can have mine. I never want to see it again. Nor him the bastard. I never even got to put it on as he phoned the night before the wedding to say he would be otherwise engaged (to that floozie Flo?) the next day. Since then I have wasted away to a size 10.
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Dear Aunt Mary,
And those were the only three replies I received, so as time was running out, I went along to Pronuptia and had to pay full price to hire it for three days. They promised to take it back with a refund if I paid for dry cleaning after the Brides and Bastards Ball.
Your loving nephew,
Freddie Fallguy.
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Love it! And I love that you always rise to a writing challenge. Maybe I should set you a pantoum on frilly knickers next…?
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Please no. I had enough of pantoums in that last OU course – they are so restricting. But frilly knickers? I’ll think about it.
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Perhaps a “Womanless Wedding.” Used to be what social clubs (Elks, Rotary, etc.) thought was fun, and entertaining to the WHOLE family! Hubs’ Dad participated in a two or three over his lifetime, but he was always the preacher! But I do hear about them still being done on occasion.
Me? Meh. . .
Or, maybe he’s getting married himself.
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There’s an offer to write a story on the table for anyone who’s interested…
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That’s an offer I can’t refuse: got to be more fun than watching Monsters on TV.
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