Archive | 15:37

May Forecast

8 May
Manchester City crest from 1997-present

Image via Wikipedia

Make a prediction about something you think will happen next week.

I can give you several:

  • I will watch Doctor Who
  • Man City will win the FA Cup
  • I will go to church
  • I will write poetry
  • I will eat too much/blog too much/moan at the Hub
  • I will tell my children I love them
  • I will make fun of stupid WordPress prompts

Number Two is a fervent hope and has to happen because I don’t want a bunch of grown men and teenage boys wetting my carpet with their tears next weekend. 

The rest will definitely come to pass.  The moon is in Mars and the stars are aligned with my bar of Galaxy chocolate, so I know these things.

Murder On The Mezzanine Level

8 May

Image by tamaki via Flickr

The house is quiet.  The Hub is sleeping, recovering from the effects of entertaining visitors (in both senses of the word).  The dogs are snoring on the couches.  I am catching up on comments and favourite blogs.

Knock-knock-knock.  Knock-knock-knock.   Knock.  Knock-knock.  Knock.

The dogs bark.  Hub snores and windows rattle.

Knock-knock-knock.  Knock-knock.   Knock.  Knock-knock.  Knock.  Knock.

I go to the front door.  No one there.  I go outside.  Look around the corner.  Nothing but birds, screaming on my roof.

Back inside the house.  A lone feather is trapped as I lock the door.

Knock-knock.   Knock.  Knock-knock.  Knock-knock-knock.

The dogs and I look at each other, puzzled.  Knock-knock-knock.

I open the door.  Lots of feathers, lots of birds.  I step out, look up, and am suddenly glad I’m too short to see anything: a magpie is feasting on top of my outside cupboard.

Feathers fall, gentle as a dead starling.

Joke 45

8 May

At a Sunday school class the teacher asked a child, “Do you pray to God before your meals?”

The child replied, “No ma’am, my mom’s a good cook!”

Happy Mother’s Day, Yankee Mommas, German Mamas, Aussie Mums, and everyothermother, from a Pommie Mummy who’s already had hers. 

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