Archive | 15:21

I Get Great Guests

9 May
Fish and chips.

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My visitors have been and gone, back to their home that used to be my home till I didn’t want it to be my home, didn’t miss as my home, wrote reams of poetry about what a sucky home it was, got that home out of my system and then realised I felt homesick for it.

My visitors were good visitors – when you give me a hug with one hand and a packet of Maltesers with the other, you not only please me, you compliment me by subtly letting me know you read my blog.

My visitors insisted on buying us all a traditional fish supper (the end of paragraph 2 refers).  My visitors were warm and funny and never once mentioned how clean my house was, though I know they were thinking it.

I like having visitors.  Visitors bring me gifts, make me laugh, refuse to let me cook, and give me a reason to clean up every three months or so.

Em & Ay, you are welcome back any time.  Don’t forget the Maltesers!

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101/1001: A Plea For Help

9 May
Some of My Best Jokes Are Friends

Image via Wikipedia

Most of you seem to enjoy the daily joke; and I love it when you post jokes in the comments.  Would you mind if I steal them?

  • Not everyone reads comments and yours deserve a wider audience (a little flattery to grease the wheels; I hope you like it)
  • They will re-surface in about a year’s time, so that people forget them
  • You will be credited as the source
  • The internet is full of crass and obscene jokes (often funny; rarely publishable) so
  • I am desperate for good, clean jokes
  • You could also email jokes to me
  • I would be grateful
  • You will help make people laugh
  • I would be so grateful
  • I would be ever so grateful

Joke 46

9 May

Old lady to her friend:

I feel like my body is totally out of shape, so I joined a gym and started exercising.  I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, arced, curled, coiled, gyrated, swivelled, wrenched, jumped and sweated for an hour. But by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

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