Archive | 14:55

101/1001 (Nein)

20 May

It’s been a dull week for tasks.  I did complete one, sort of, but there wasn’t much work involved:

Buy/swap all of the Harry Potter books so I don’t have to steal the boys’.

It happened like this:

Tory Boy and Spud were discussing the books (they each have a set) and Spud mentioned he probably won’t ever read his again.

Once I had recovered from my swoon, I asked, ‘Can I have them?’

He replied, ‘Yes.’

Task complete! 

Why is there always a ‘but’?  Even lazy I don’t think that was in the spirit of the tasks.  But I’m not going to look a gift book in the flyleaf, so I now have my own set of Harry Potters.  I won’t dip into them just yet, however, because it hasn’t been three months since I last read them.

I haven’t added any new tasks for a while, apart from ‘Get a bike’, and I’m rather worried that the tasks I have will be completed before the end of the year instead of a thousand and one days so, please, dear readers:

  • check out my list on page 101/1001 (link also at the top and side of this page)
  • think of some that are cheap and fun
  • cheap and a little challenging
  • and cheap
  • then email or post them in the comments section

You were so generous with your jokes that I’m sure you’ll think of something for me.

Maybe one of my challenges should be: Write a blog post in which your readers don’t have to do the work for you.

Don’t forget, I’m not alone in the 101/1001 universe: check out Perfecting Motherhood and Sarsm to see how they’re doing.

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The End

20 May

Viewfromtheside’s theme this week is The End, given our impending doom tomorrow (which confuses me, because it’s not 2012 yet).

Some people are quite frightened by all the doomsayers.  I’m not worried because Christ said, ‘No one knows the day or the hour’, so you can be as specific as you like: I’m still watching Dr Who tomorrow.

I thought you might like to see my own version of the horror story that is ‘The End’; I came across this photo yesterday:

I was reminded of two things, which I will tell you after I have first insisted that I am not a body-hating miserable specimen of a woman, but a chubby lass who eats too much and exercises too little; I am well aware that the solution is in my own hands:

  1. One of my tasks is to lose a little weight; I haven’t made any effort in that area yet.  Maltesers act as a siren’s song, I’m afraid.  Guess I’ll have to stop <gasp> buying them.
  2. A scene from Love Actually, when the PM’s assistant talks of his love interest as having ‘a pretty sizeable a**e.’  It’s nice to know I could be in the movies.

And the silver lining, of course, is that when The End really does come, if I’m one of the survivors, I’ll have plenty of body fat to live off.  I bet you all wish you had a body like mine, now, don’t you?

Joke 57

20 May

A man is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

“What was that for?” he yells.

She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with ‘Betty Sue’ written on it.”

He says, “Aw, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? ‘Betty Sue’ was the name of the horse I went there to bet on.”

She apologises and walks away.

Three days later he’s reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.

“What was that for?” he yells again.

She answers, “Your horse just called.”

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