My First Six Word Saturday

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The sun – I’ve heard of it.

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Here in Stockport we hardly ever see the sun.  Clouds nestle on the Pennines and seep into the sky all around like a bad smell in a lift. 

We’re almost at the end of May and there’s no sign of sunshine.  I never thought I’d miss a drought, but I do: at least droughts are cheerful.

Read more Six Word Saturdays at Show My Face.

Let Them Eat Cake

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What makes you feel like you’re still a kid?

When the Hub tells me to stop picking my spots.

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What invention, as in something not yet invented (jetpack, teleportation ring, time machine) do you most need right now?

A replicator.  Those babies can rustle up a meal or a cup of Earl Grey, hot, faster than you can say Star Trek.

I don’t need it right now (it only takes a minute to warm milk for my cereal in the microwave) so much as I want one I want one I want one.

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Arts Jobs – Cake Popper

When you read that, did you think, like me, pretty girl in a bikini?  Then you’d have been as confused as I was to learn that the first requirement for popping out of a fake cake is ‘a basic food hygiene certificate.’  Health & Safety are strict in this country.

Sadly, I thought, it’s just a dull kitchen job.  Then I did a little research: the advert was placed by two London women who make the most amazing cake lollipops at the Pop Bakery:

I found their blog – they make cakes on stalks; I may be their first cake stalker.  Go on over and take a look; I defy you to be unimpressed.

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Joke 65

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby brooch, and a gold Rolex.”

“But you are not wearing any of those things,” the artist replied.

“I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery.”