Archive | 10:25

Finding My Inner Child Wasn’t That Hard

6 Jun

It was at the end of a five-minute walk to the local park.

I couldn’t wait any longer to complete my latest 101 task: I grabbed the Hub and how he wished that sentence ended there, but it doesn’t – it ends at the play area on Gorsey Bank.

First up: The Wall.  Hub’s first mistake: not taking a photo of the whole thing.  It could be three feet tall for all you know.  It isn’t; and I didn’t get to the top; but I did get off the ground.

The walls have fears 

Next: The Spider Web.  This is the one I’ve been itching to tackle.  It hangs between two Walls, so you can get an idea of the height from the next photo:

When I said ‘Come into my parlour’ I meant walk in like a lady.
Tilly had just spotted the Maltesers her husband had dropped on the other side
Tilly’s reputation for grace and dignity had been somewhat exaggerated

I was chuffed to reach the top of the Web but not stupid enough to try climbing over it.   I went back the way I came.  That’s when the Hub made his second mistake: I had one foot on the ground and my other foot caught in the last link, sending me flat on my back, bum, elbow and stringing me up like a, well, fly trapped in a spider web.

The Hub, instead of taking a photograph, rushed over to help me.  It was a Hub’s Rush, of course, so I had time to call an ambulance, check myself out, cancel the ambulance, and yell at him for missing the best pic of the day.

I wasn’t badly hurt: just my elbow, backside, hip, hands and head ache this morning.

Grime on my hands

There are little benches dotted around the park; nobody knows if they are for sitting or balancing on.  I promised to go on everything, however, so I did:

She was perfect for the James Stewart role in Stockport’s new production of ‘Vertigo’

Next, three rocks:

As her confidence grew, Tilly became boulder

I’ve never been a swinger, but I did enjoy it for a while.  They are not really built for my crisp-bearing hips, however.

Swing low, sweet Tilly Bud

The stilts were easy: low, and fixed to the ground, which I kept my eyes on at all times.

You can’t see the Bud for the trees

Finally…the slide.  I saved it till last because it had been raining (but I’d ironed a spare pair of trousers specially).  The Hub said all he could hear from me was …thud…ow…ow…eek…bang…ouch…thud…  I added an aching ankle to the list, after almost bending it backwards when I caught it on a corner.

What goes up…
…come down…

I had no grace, no dignity, and no pain I can’t deal with; but you know what?  I had loads of fun!

Joke 74

6 Jun

Judge: Haven’t I seen you before?

Man: Yes, Your Honour. I taught your son to play the drums.

Judge: Twenty years!

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