I’ll Take The Diamonds, Thanks

How many friends can a person have?

There are certain criteria to be considered here, so the answer is not simply as many as possible.

• Rich friends – as many as possible.  Duh.
• Poor friends – really?  Like you need to be reminded of your personal situation.
• Interesting friends – as many as possible.  You always need material for your blog.
• Dull friends – forget it.  There’s only so much yawning a mouth can take before lockjaw sets in.
• Funny friends – as many as possible.  Joke stealing is less noticed if you spread the source.
• Friends with no sense of humour – useful for practising on.  A butt is a must for a humorist.
• Nice friends – acceptable.  You might get a present or a helping hand when you need it.
• Unpleasant friends – a few; makes you look good in contrast.
• Generous friends – as many as possible; how else can you afford to re-gift at Christmas?
• Mean friends – one; to give the Christmas tat to that you don’t like to pass on to anyone else.
• Social networking friends – as many as possible; how else will your blog go viral?

I hope that’s sorted that out for you.

The question now, of course, is which category do you fall into? 

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iMail

Image via Wikipedia

Write a short letter to yourself, to be read one year from now.

Dear Tilly,

i

Love Tilly.

But wait, there’s more:

You don’t have to post the entire letter, but you do have to a) write it b) post about what surprised you the most about what you wrote, or whether you found the experience interesting or not.

a) Did it.

b) What surprised me the most was how quickly I was able to write the letter ‘i’. 

I found the experience dull.  So dull, in fact, that I decided to try again with another letter.

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Write a short letter to yourself, to be read one year from now.

Dear Tolly,

o

Love Tolly.

But waot, there’s more:

You don’t have to post the entore letter, but you do have to a) wrote ot b) post about what surprosed you the most about what you wrote, or whether you found the experoence onteresting or not.

a) Dod ot.

b) What surprosed me the most was how quockly O was able to wrote the letter ‘o’.  

O found the experoence dull.  So dull, on fact, that O decoded to try agaon woth another letter.

Stoll dull.

Perhaps O should take the wrotong prompts more seroously.

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Joke 118

This one is courtesy of Viv in France.  Another one so close to the truth, it hurts.

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

‘What are my choices?’ the man asked.

‘Yes or no,’ she replied.