Archive | 18:41

CoWAbunger Hiccup

17 Oct

This has been the best week so far for comments, and any of the seven that I ruled out would have been a worthy winner in another week – especially SammyDee, for calling me ‘bonkers’; but the Kurgan tells us There can be only one, so it has to be Sidey, for this little ditty, which helped make sense of an incomprehensible post:

I can also count in alcoholic
One Tequila
Two Tequila
Three Tequila
Floor!

Well done, Sidey!  Here’s your award:

The Head At The End Of The Bed

17 Oct

Thank you for your concern for the bruised Spud.  His bump has gone down, though he tells me it is sore to touch (Mother’s advice: Stop touching it, then!).  I knew he was going to survive by bedtime, so I went up, leaving him watching tv with his Dad, and the instruction to add another blanket to his bed because it was going to turn cold in the night according to the weather report (it did; that’s twice they’ve been right this year.  They’re on a roll).

I was asleep by eleven, little Molly Moo, one of our Yorkshire Terriers, snuggled beside me, wrapped in her blanket – she feels the cold from August onwards and, in spite of the unseasonably warm autumn, wears a hoody on her daily walk.

We were both snoring happily, when I suddenly woke up.  Someone had pulled the bedroom door to.  Molly never moved so, as she is the barkingest dog in Britain, I knew it was nothing to worry about, and went back to sleep.

I woke up.  Someone had opened the bedroom door.  Nothing from Molly except the whimpering noises which means she’s chasing after a giant fur coat in her dreams.  Back to sleep.

Awake.  The door had been pulled to again.  I began to wonder if I was dreaming.  Molly was.  Sleep.

WIDE awake now…the door was definitely open.  I lay quiet, listening.  Then I noticed Molly was wriggling excitedly under her blanket.  Still not barking.  She squirmed along, tail wagging.  I sat up slightly…and saw a disembodied head floating at the end of the bed. 

Then I realised it was Spud.

He was the one who had been opening and closing the door – he opened it to ask me for a blanket, then closed it when he saw I was asleep, which is when I woke up.  Open again, when he realised he had locked Molly in; closed over when he went into the landing cupboard to find a blanket.  Open for the last time when he couldn’t find a blanket in the cupboard, and crawled around my bed so as not to wake me, to the drawer under the bed where, he had remembered, I kept spare blankets.  Molly thought he was playing a game and wanted to join in, and it was at that moment I sat up.

I couldn’t accept his apology because I was laughing so hard: partly because it was funny, but mostly in relief that I wasn’t going crazy.  Or about to be eaten by ghost.

Job for today: relocate spare bedding to accessible storage point.

*

&

Joke 207

17 Oct
A police officer stops at a red light.  He notices quite a din coming from the trunk of a car in front of him. He approaches the driver of the car and instructs him to get out of the vehicle and open the trunk. The driver complies, and in the trunk are a dozen giraffes.
 
The police officer says, “Take these giraffes to the zoo immediately!”
 
The driver says, “Right away, officer!” and drives off.
 
The following day the cop is at the same red light, and is angry to see the same car with the same loud noise coming from the trunk.  He tells the driver to get out and open his trunk.  There are the same dozen giraffes, only this time they’re all wearing sunglasses.
 
The policeman says, “I told you to take these giraffes to the zoo!”
 
The driver replies, “But officer, I did…today they want to go to the beach!”
*

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