Joke 209

19 Oct

Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad).

The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.

However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it came into contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, viceneutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample’s mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the “Critical Morass”.


11 Responses to “Joke 209”

  1. iolahardy October 19, 2011 at 05:46 #

    This one was just too good!


  2. Katherine Gordy Levine October 19, 2011 at 05:47 #

    Shared on face books. Also made a declaration of love for Tilly Bud.


  3. vivinfrance October 19, 2011 at 07:04 #

    For adminisitration read management. Only too true, unfortunately.


  4. nrhatch October 19, 2011 at 16:24 #



  5. bluebee October 19, 2011 at 21:52 #

    Its art is frustration – the only upside is that it does keep a lot of people employed


  6. slpmartin October 20, 2011 at 01:59 #

    Oh…I do like this one…having spend a tour of duty as a university adminstrator. 😉


    • Tilly Bud October 21, 2011 at 08:59 #

      That’s a dirty secret best kept quiet, Charles 🙂



  1. amras888 - January 28, 2012

    […] Joke 209 ( Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Tags: Atom, Atomic number, Electric charge, Electron, Neutron, Proton Comments RSS feed […]


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