Joke 214

24 Oct

Thanks to Sarsm for this one.

Genuine Extracts From Letters To Rochdale Council Offices. 

I wish to complain that my fater hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 

The lavatory is blocked. This is caused by the boys next door throwing their balls on the roof. 

This to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door. 

The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand? 

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall. 

I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawer. 

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. 

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother. 

I want some repairs doing to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knobs off. 

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous. 

Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yesterday my wife tripped and fell on it and she is now pregnant. 

Our kitchen floor is very damp. We have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it. 

Would you please send a man to look at my water. It is a funny colour and is not fit to drink. 

Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and I need it straight away. 

I awoke this morning and found my water boiling. 

This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we cannot get BBC2.

 

9 Responses to “Joke 214”

  1. vivinfrance October 24, 2011 at 07:17 #

    Some of these would make excellent material for teachers of English on the use of pronouns and the like! Primary kids would love ’em. 🙂

    Like

  2. colonialist October 24, 2011 at 10:35 #

    Hilarious! I think my favourite is the blocked loo and bathing the kids.

    Like

  3. frizztext October 24, 2011 at 11:11 #

    I could need a Guillotine for some beasts too …

    Like

  4. kateshrewsday October 24, 2011 at 12:49 #

    Love this! Especially the BBC2 one…maybe I should call the plumber when my satellite if on the blink….

    Like

    • Tilly Bud October 25, 2011 at 11:00 #

      And then complain to ‘That’s Life’ when they say, ‘This has got nothing to do with us…’

      Like

  5. kateshrewsday October 24, 2011 at 12:50 #

    …sorry, is on the blink

    Like

  6. slpmartin October 24, 2011 at 16:05 #

    Oh these were very funny…my favorite was “The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.”

    Like

  7. Yulia October 25, 2011 at 04:13 #

    This is so funny, cannot imagine that the toilet is blocked, urgently need someone to repair it….

    Like

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