Archive | 10:18

Weekly Photo Challenge: Textured

12 Nov

Better late than never, I suppose:

This is the Hub some time after I met him.  He did this a lot: spent a lot of time in the air on a bike.  He also spent a lot of time on the ground, having fallen off a bike while in the air.  He probably spent as much on new jeans as he did on front tyres, and had knees with a texture like grit and blood.  Come to think of it, it probably was grit and blood.

I once came off a bike.  The Hub was teaching me to ride an old 50cc he had bought for me. 

His basic instructions:

This is the front brake.  This is the back brake.  DO NOT pull the front brake.  DO NOT pull the front brake.  Pull the BACK brake.  DO NOT pull the front brake.

I pulled the front brake and went right over the top, onto the road, and never tried to ride a bike again.  The people of South Africa clubbed together to buy me a thank you gift.

The Hub also taught me to drive (for a while).

As I headed straight for a garden wall, behind which a terrified family had been enjoying an afternoon braai, his screamed instructions were, BRAKE!  BRAKE!  BRAKE!

Unfortunately, I had finally remembered his previous instructions.  It’s lucky he knows how to do a hand brake turn while sitting in the passenger seat. 

I wouldn’t let him teach me after that; he’s much too grumpy.

*

Joke 233

12 Nov

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky.  The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.

“All right, son,” asked the father, “what does that show you?”

“Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you won’t have worms.”

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