Joke 252

1 Dec

Thanks to Sarsm for this one.  And I mean that most sincerely, folks.

Christmas Cake Recipe

Ingredients:

1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice
4 large eggs lots of nuts
1 bottle Vodka 2 cups of dried fruit

Method:

Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
To be sure Vodka is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.
Try another cup…just in case.
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a
sdrewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who caresh.
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and puss in the fridge (or sink).
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick
the cat.
Fall into bed.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

24 Responses to “Joke 252”

  1. bluebee December 1, 2011 at 06:01 #

    And before dropping off, feel underneath to see if you can locate any stray Maltesers

    Like

  2. Perfecting Motherhood December 1, 2011 at 06:37 #

    So that’s how Sarsm got her headache, hmmm…

    Like

  3. vivinfrance December 1, 2011 at 07:50 #

    This should be preceded by the warning “don’t try this at home”!

    Like

  4. Pseu December 1, 2011 at 08:20 #

    I’ll try your recipe, but do you think it would work if I substitute whisky?

    Like

  5. misswhiplash December 1, 2011 at 09:58 #

    Burp!

    Like

    • Tilly Bud December 1, 2011 at 12:02 #

      Manners, please! This is a posh blog, missus 🙂

      Like

  6. Julie December 1, 2011 at 10:17 #

    Good one!

    Like

  7. slpmartin December 1, 2011 at 16:06 #

    Oh…now that was funny!

    Like

  8. nrhatch December 1, 2011 at 16:56 #

    Tee many martoonis! 😀

    Like

  9. RoryBore December 1, 2011 at 19:45 #

    aka, why I never finish making my margarita cheesecakes! 1 tequilla, 2 tequilla, 3 tequilla, floor…..

    …..oh look…..there’s that missing Lego piece

    Like

  10. Kate Kresse December 2, 2011 at 12:57 #

    shounds delishusss…

    Like

  11. sarsm December 9, 2011 at 01:11 #

    This is one of my favourite jokes of all time!! 😀 Thanks for the mention!!

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. That’s Better! « The Laughing Housewife - December 2, 2011

    […] must rememeber to decoarte my blog on the first; mum rebester to derocate by mog on the stirf (Sarsm’s Christmas cake recipe refers) and come the first, what happens?  I […]

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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