Bits

In my inbox this morning: an opportunity for Vaseline Etching at Hot Bed Press. 

And it’s not even spam.   Some people are weird, and I write that as a woman who must use one particular set of cutlery to eat egg and chips, even though I don’t care what I use for any other meal.

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Trawling my drafts section, I came upon these unpublished responses to long-forgotten prompts:

What do you want your tombstone to say?

‘The dust bunnies are having the last laugh.’

What is a strength you have that you haven’t used? Recently? Maybe a secret skill, or perhaps an ability that only surfaces under tough times?

My ability not to make fun of stupidity. For some reason, I don’t know why, it hasn’t been around since January.

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Spud was voted Most Like Odysseus by the overwhelming majority of his Classics class.  He was particularly pleased because Odysseus’s notable feature (I apologise; he’s fifteen) is to have…erm…male parts like a tree trunk…

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There’s many a true word spoken in jest:

Pearl Harbour And The Other Magellan.

Today is the Seventieth Anniversary of Pearl Harbour.  If you don’t read anything else, read this moving account of someone who was there:

The other Magellan..

Joke 258

The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border.  Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations.  Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter.  “I just got some news, Mom,” he said.  “The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States.  We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” his mother said.  “Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!”