Twilight: A Real Horror Movie

28 Dec

I don’t watch horror movies; I watch few suspense movies; thrillers?  Not at all.  I don’t like feeling frightened.  I don’t read scary books.  I had to forego my daily dose of the excellent Kate Shrewsday over Christmas, because she wrote a three-day ghost story.  The Muppet Christmas Carol is as ghostly as it gets for me.

So vampires…forget it!  The Hub, before he fully understood my need to live in a bubble of niceness, made me watch Scream and Interview With The Vampire.  Being clutched from behind in the middle of a deep sleep in the middle of the night by a terrified wife who woke up and hallucinated giant spiders and pretty vampires and knife-wielding masked men gave him so many near-heart attacks that he decided to stop my film-nasties education, and never resumed it.  Particularly after the night I jumped out of bed, screaming ‘Fire!  Fire!’, having watched The Towering Inferno at last, because ‘it is a classic’, and he realised he was living in a nightmare of his own making. 

Cover of "Twilight (Two-Disc Special Edit...

Cover of Twilight (Two-Disc Special Edition)

 

The Hub likes the Twilight movies.  I bought him the trilogy box set for Christmas, to the amusement of our sons, who laughed at him for being a teenage girl and offered to buy him a Robert Pattinson poster for his wall.

The Hub made me watch the first one.  He assured me I would love it; it wasn’t frightening.  He promised.  He swore.  He was right.  It wasn’t frightening.  I did love it.  It was a romance between a lonely teenage girl and one of the undead.  What could be more natural?

Robert Pattinson was sexy in Twilight; I’ll admit.  It’s not pervy of me to think that because he was seventeen in 1918 which makes him 110 by my reckoning; and that makes him the perv, if you think about it: chasing after a teenage girl.

He was brooding and dark and all of those things women like in a fictional man.  Not so much fun when you have to live with it, I imagine.  Edward (RP) wants Bella (Kristen Stewart); he enters her room while she’s asleep, and watches her.  Just stands there and watches her.  He doesn’t sleep, you see; so that’s okay then.  He follows her, but that’s all right because if he didn’t follow her, he couldn’t save her from the nasty gang of young men who have horrid thoughts about her.  Better the devil you know, I suppose.

Bella is much safer with Edward, because he will protect her from the really mean undead who want to dine on her.  Too bad he’s the one who exposed her to them in the first place.  And it’s fine that he tells her he can’t promise never to kill her, because she trusts him, you see; she loves him.

I loved this film; I did.  I’m eager to watch the sequels.  The Hub was right: it was a romance; it wasn’t frightening.  In the conventional sense.

But sending out the message to impressionable young women that it’s okay to love a man who stalks you and who tells you he might kill you one day?  That’s a real horror story.

*

Postscript

Creating Reciprocity left such a great quote in the comments, I have added it here:

Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. 

Stephen King

35 Responses to “Twilight: A Real Horror Movie”

  1. McGuffyAnn December 28, 2011 at 14:28 #

    As always, interesting post. I admit I am a devout fan of yours. Anyway, I don’t do horror, either. Life is plenty scary enough.

    Like

  2. jmgoyder December 28, 2011 at 14:30 #

    Tilly, your humour is my silver lining at the moment.
    Loved the post – thank you! Julie

    Like

  3. laurieanichols December 28, 2011 at 15:17 #

    I completely agree with you about the last line. I have a teenage daughter so of course the hubby and I got roped into reading the books and seeing the movies. I really started to dislike the message the authoress was sending to young girls at book 2. I love tall, dark, brooding and mysterious as much as the next woman but to lose oneself so completely and to accept as love, stalking and taking away your essence which is what makes you, you. I found disturbing. I wish that Bella as a heroine had as much love for herself as she does for Edward.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud December 29, 2011 at 10:22 #

      You are so right. It’s a dreadful message.

      Like

  4. misswhiplash December 28, 2011 at 15:18 #

    I do not like horror movies and would never ever pay to watch one, give me a good romantic comedy or old time drama like Downton and I am well away

    Like

  5. Gobetween December 28, 2011 at 15:41 #

    I watched a little bit once, I was really bored. I like the scary movies 😉

    Like

    • Tilly Bud December 29, 2011 at 10:25 #

      When I was a teenager the BBC showed B&W horror (Boris Karloff, etc) late on Friday nights. MY friend used to stay up on her own to watch them; I can’t watch them even now, in broad daylight in a crowd.

      Like

  6. SchmidleysScribbling December 28, 2011 at 17:23 #

    My youngest granddaughter read the Twilight books and said they were awful. She is a teenager (17) so she would know about these things. Meanwhile, the American woman who wrote the Vampire series has returned to her Catholic faith and says her brush with Vampires made her do it. I visted her home in New Oleans…spooky, and covered with Wisteria. Dianne

    Like

  7. Jodie December 28, 2011 at 18:02 #

    I read the first book, because I had some friends raving about it, and I was not impressed. I finished the book and felt no need to continue the series or see the movies. Yet after reading this post, I kinda wanna go back and reread the book just to refresh myself on how bad it was, and why, lol.. but I suppose I have better things to do right?
    Thanks for the post. 🙂

    Like

    • Tilly Bud December 29, 2011 at 10:28 #

      I did enjoy the film; it was the message that disturbed me.

      Like

  8. nrhatch December 28, 2011 at 20:07 #

    I watched the first movie with my niece . . . I won’t watch the rest of the series. The plot and thinly drawn characters aren’t enticing, and Edward nolds no appeal for me.

    May RP . . . RIP. 😉

    Like

  9. kateshrewsday December 28, 2011 at 22:58 #

    Very good point, Tilly!

    Like

  10. creatingreciprocity December 28, 2011 at 23:07 #

    I think they are very bad stories for teenage girls for all the bad, brooding, undead stalker reasons but mainly for the awful example it sets to pre-pubescent girls about love and helplessness etc – but the quote attributed to Stephen King says it best –

    “Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.”
    ― Stephen King

    Like

    • Tilly Bud December 29, 2011 at 10:33 #

      That’s such a good quote, I’m going to add it to the post. Thanks 🙂

      Like

  11. musings December 29, 2011 at 06:17 #

    Terrific post! I’ve seen the first one also and don’t need to see the others. It did occur to me that he’s really a very old guy pursuing an innocent. My husband knows better than to put me anywhere near a horror movie for the same reason as yours.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud December 29, 2011 at 10:34 #

      It seems there are quite a few of us out there 🙂

      Like

  12. eof737 December 29, 2011 at 10:34 #

    I don’t like scary movies either… Yikes!

    Like

  13. Pseu December 29, 2011 at 12:34 #

    I haven’t seen or read the books – teenaged boys, as you know won’t do this type of book, but it doesn’t sound like my thing anyway –
    the point about sending the wrong message to girls though echoes my thoughts about various films and books written for this age group. It seems such a retrograde step.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud December 29, 2011 at 12:38 #

      I agree. Girls these days want to be famous or WAGs – not doctors or CEOs or Prime Ministers. Sad, sad, sad.

      Like

  14. colonialist December 29, 2011 at 16:39 #

    I really love the Stephen King assessment!

    Like

  15. Hattie December 29, 2011 at 18:08 #

    Soon I’ll have to start worrying about what messages my granddaughters are getting from the media.
    Frightening.

    Like

  16. bluebee December 29, 2011 at 21:39 #

    A real horror story, indeed, Tilly. Some garlic is needed to ward off the Trash culture

    Like

  17. Perfecting Motherhood December 30, 2011 at 07:10 #

    Good for you watching Twilight. I’ve seen the first two movies so far and thought they were a real bore, as in zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Ah, Buffy the vampire slayer, I miss you so much… And I like the werewolf a lot more than the vampire.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud December 31, 2011 at 13:46 #

      I saw the movie but never watched the series.

      Like

      • Perfecting Motherhood January 1, 2012 at 05:28 #

        Oh, the series is SO MUCH better than the movie. You should try to rent it from your library or find it on TV (watching it sequentially is probably better). The British vampire Spike has the best lines in it – absolutely hilarious. And Buffy knows how to kick vampire ass, unlike wishy washy Bella.

        Like

  18. Lorna's Voice December 31, 2011 at 17:06 #

    I haven’t seem the Twilight series and remarked about a while ago about how amazed I was that it so popular. Then my sister reminded me of how we were “hooked” on “Dark Shadows” when we were younger. Main character? Barnabus Jones, a vampire!

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. D Is For ‘DVD’ Or, ‘Do I Divorce Him?’ « The Laughing Housewife - March 12, 2012

    […] devoured the Hub’s Christmas present from me to him – the Twilight trilogy DVD box set – I was desperate to see the fourth […]

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  2. The Laughing Housewife - November 17, 2012

    […] love with the Twilight world. As a mature and intelligent woman, I could see its faults and I even blogged about them, in my particular style. As a woman who has always gone her own way, I knew I was safe from being […]

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I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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