WordPress Falls At The Last Hurdle

1 Jan

 

WordPress

Image by Adriano Gasparri via Flickr

 

I was going to write a post about how great WordPress is.   How they are always updating the blogs to make them more user-friendly; how the techies solve most problems fairly quickly and – more to the point – politely; how they are always adding useful little features; and taking them away again when we all complain loud and long about how we hate them. 

That was my intention, especially after reading Worth Doing Badly and noting that Tinman went all mushy on us and said uncharacteristically nice things about WordPress.  I thought, if you can’t beat them, be nice to them: if they can take down Tinman, they can take down anyone.  So I prepared a post in praise of WordPress prompts.  I say ‘prepared’.  I mean, thought A post in praise of WordPress prompts might be good.  Because I have enjoyed the postaday2011 prompts.  I know you have all complained at how stupid many of them were, but that was the point: I made merciless fun of them, and enjoyed every single one.  That’s why I thought it would be nice to say so.

But then WordPress made a fatal error…they sent me my yearly stats.

I like stats.  Stats tell me how I’m doing; they tell me what you like (laughing); what you don’t like (not much; you’re easily pleased). 

Stats tell me how many visitors I’ve had this year: about 75,000. 

This blog was viewed about 75,000 times in 2011. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 3 days for that many people to see it.

WAIT!  Not ‘about 75,000’ at all!   EXACTLY 87,639.  I calculate you owe me half a day at the Louvre Museum, WordPress.  I might have missed the Mona Lisa thanks to your wonky maths.  Though, with a face like that, does anyone really miss the Mona Lisa?  She’s a bit smug, isn’t she? 

Mona Lisa face 800x800px

Image via Wikipedia

 

They then tell me I wrote 826 new posts.  Cough.  Try 883.  385 photos were uploaded.  I’ll take their word for it, because words are my business, not pictures.

But here is where I lost it:

The busiest day of the year was December 6th with 455 views.

I knew THAT was wrong – I have fifteen other days with higher, sometimes much higher, and in one case, well over double higher, hits.  I may have stomped on the desk a bit when I read that part.

Finally, to rub salt into my festering soul, WordPress told me that:

Some of your most popular posts were written before 2011.

So, not content with underselling me on my statistics, they tell me my best work is behind me.

Be warned, WordPress, I’m watching you.  (I hope you’re not watching me)

*

So, what can you expect in 2012? 

Jokes, naturally.  Lots about me, and how I feel, and what I think, and how wonderful I am, naturally.  Occasional mentions of my family, prat falls in particular.  Naturally.  Same old, same old.  It feels natural to me.

Happy New Year, and thanks for making my stats comparable to a famous French tourist site.

I’ll leave you with a quote, in case you are new here:

A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
Hugh Sidey

 

55 Responses to “WordPress Falls At The Last Hurdle”

  1. Lorna's Voice at 13:49 #

    Who was it that said statistics never lie, but people do? Even with the underestimated figures, your blog is a happening place!

    Like

  2. jmgoyder at 14:03 #

    Brilliant!

    Like

  3. Grannymar at 14:04 #

    So, what can we expect in 2012? To come here for more of the Feel Good factor!

    Like

  4. vivinfrance at 14:12 #

    Keep it up, Tilly, at the risk of losing Malteser privileges, you’re doing a grand job – always the first blog I look at every day.

    BTW I haven’t had one of those erroneous stats things from WordPress – what did I do wrong?

    Like

  5. Yeah, I looked at my WordPress update and I also scratched my head in puzzlement. Then decided to take it, like you, with a pinch of salt and a dose of humour!

    Like

  6. misswhiplash at 14:44 #

    always great stuff Tilly B and always a good read and a good laugh….

    Like

  7. McGuffyAnn at 14:52 #

    Thank you for what you do. I would rather read you than look at the Mona Lisa. You’re wonderful! Happy 2012!

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 15:11 #

      Stop it! I can’t see to type because my ego is in the way. No Maltesers for you 🙂

      Like

  8. Ron. at 14:55 #

    My WPStats show me that you, my dear friend, and our mutual Cher Amie Francaise (ie Viv) are my two most frequent commenters. (I’m not saying which one of you top the list because I’m hoping that a little competition between you for the #1 slot will help keep my stats high).

    I am, of course, glad to have any readers; thankful for those I have; and very happy that you (or she) is my most frequent responder.

    Looking forward to reading more of you in 2012.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 15:13 #

      Ooo, a competition…I’ll step aside for Viv, because I don’t like to get one over on my friemds 🙂

      Like

  9. andy1076 at 14:57 #

    I love reading your posts! it’s the one place I come to for great laughs and smiles 🙂

    Like

  10. evilnymphstuff at 15:19 #

    My stats are inaccurate too! Although I have 106 posts I wrote in 2011 wordpress told me that I had 86 only! 😛 anyway can’t wait for your future funny posts…making fun of wordpress xD

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 15:44 #

      Shocking! They must all be recovering from Christmas and New Year in the office today 🙂

      Like

      • andy1076 at 02:11 #

        Yep they must be, before they (cough) started (cough) actually drinking (cough) 😛

        Like

  11. laurieanichols at 15:37 #

    How Dare They, your stats while erroneous are still impressive having the Louvre as a comparison to give a sense of the traffic you had is a big deal. I got compared to the NYC subway, a little less grand; sniff, sniff. I am looking forward to my daily dose of Tilly>

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 15:45 #

      I must confess to wanting to ride the NY subway over visiting Paris.

      Like

  12. Tinman at 16:23 #

    Sidey’s name is Hugh? I always thought she was a girl.

    Sorry about caving on WordPress, but it will just surprise them even more when I slag them again this year.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 12:08 #

      Sometimes, Tinman, I suspect my readers are not quite, well, you know, paying the proper attention.

      Like

  13. Tinman at 16:25 #

    And don’t mind them, they can’t even get the time right, according to them I won’t write that last comment for another hour yet.

    Like

  14. Kate Kresse at 16:32 #

    they don’t have my stats right either. I think they cut off their count in november….

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 12:09 #

      That’s a bit daft, isn’t it? Especially when December was my best month 😦

      Like

  15. krismerino at 16:35 #

    Haha! Yes… my stats were questionable as well. Luckily I had imbibed enough champagne so it didn’t bother me at the time. You’ve now reminded me to be upset 😉

    Like

  16. kateshrewsday at 16:37 #

    Looking forward to another year of classic humour, Tilly. Have a great new year, you and your lovely family.

    Like

  17. nrhatch at 17:13 #

    Write on!

    Like

  18. Ao WordPress says you would fill the Louvre and I would fill the Sydney opera House several times over if I could spell it. Somehow I never thought of you as having anything to do with Mona Lisa. She was pretty darn quiet and she didn’t laugh a lot. Dianne

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 12:21 #

      I’ve always thought her a bit of a misery guts. I never got what all the fuss is about.

      Like

  19. rumpydog at 17:44 #

    ROFL!
    Happy New Year!!!! woo woo woo!

    Like

  20. earlybird at 18:20 #

    Happy new year Tilly and congratulations! (Yah boo sucks to WordPress ‘annual report’, huh?)

    Like

  21. frizztext at 18:37 #

    I like your irony, maybe even sarcasm, cynicism or only humor?
    I hope you are as busy in 2012 as in 2011, then the visitors have to wait 6 days to come in. Wait, something is wrong: they won’t come on one single day!
    Nevertheless:
    good to have those stats, isn’t it?
    greetings by
    http://flickrcomments.wordpress.com/2012/01/01/2011-in-review/
    +

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 12:23 #

      I like the stats because they show me what readers I like. Of course, I like them more when they are high 🙂

      Like

  22. granny1947 at 19:07 #

    I didn’t get any stats!
    Oh Lord…they are using one of my other e-mail addresses.
    I never look at them.
    that explains why I have been saved from their prompts.
    NOW….hmmm….what are those other passwords?

    Like

  23. colonialist at 20:51 #

    I, too, found my stats heavily suspect – particularly the photos, where it would seem I hardly ever do any.
    I think some of their stats are static and not designed to make us at all ecstatic!

    Like

  24. barb19 at 00:10 #

    They must have prepared the stats way too early because they got my stats all wrong too.
    However, whatever the stats, you still have a very healthy blog there Tilly, so congrats and a box of Maltesers to you!
    Happy 2012 my friend!

    Like

  25. hellenjc at 01:06 #

    Your stats are awesome Tilly ! Personally I am VERY annoyed that WordPress has retired Readomatic and very annoyed that they have fiddled the followers stats.. It used to be just proper wordpress followers that were shown but now they show facebook as well. So if someone has 500 “friends” on facebook they are considered followers…grrrrrr the fact that most of them probably never read the persons blog seems not to matter !! rant over..

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 12:26 #

      What’s Readomatic? I never noticed that, so I didn’t know it had gone. Now I’m retrospectively annoyed.

      I agree about the follower stats; I much prefer them to be separate. But at least we can see the breakdown on the stats page.

      Like

      • hellenjc at 12:37 #

        Tilly. If you go to your dashboard you’ll see on the left it says Readomatic. You used to be able to click on that and you’d immediately see new WordPress posts ( not the ones you were following but all posts) I used to enjoy a quick browse every now and then.

        Like

  26. ElizOF at 09:51 #

    Congratulations and Happy New Year! The reports were prepared a month or so early and that’s why the numbers are slightly off. Anyway, you have the stats in your backroom and know the difference. We all did very well and now it’s back to blogging time! 🙂 Hope you’re feeling better!
    Eliz 🙂

    Like

  27. Looking forward to lots of groans from your jokes and cartoons. Have a great 2012! Your stats are amazing!

    Like

  28. margo roby at 15:56 #

    Well, I am certainly not going to put this in a complimentary way, if I lose my Maltesers [it has been forever since I have had one–I’ll spend the rest of the day remembering English sweets from my childhood].

    Let’s see I have blamed you for making me remember the sweets, so maybe I can balance that with how much I enjoyed the wordpress rant. I am going back in to check my own stats…out of curiosity; just read ElizOF’s comment, so they may be accurate — yes, I wander as I comment…wow! I wandered a little more. The comments are almost [almost] as much fun as your posts.

    Thank you Tilly Bud for all the laughs and, I wish a wonderful year ahead for you.

    margo

    Like

  29. Nick the Editor at 09:48 #

    It’s too bad you can’t run google analytics on your own with WP.com, you’d probably find it gave you more accurate stats than the version available through wordpress. Even with analytics though, I find that the stats are sometimes off

    Like

    • Tilly Bud at 12:28 #

      Yes, I’ve noticed that. I don’t mind it, especially when it gives me an excuse to blog 🙂

      Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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