Three Good Things

 

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(1)

Spud is back at school today.  It means I have to get up earlier, which gives me more time to read.  It’s good for me but not for him: he has exams until the end of January and he did almost no revision because he was so ill over Christmas.

(2) 

I’ve read three of the four Twilight books; the last one will be finished by    tomorrow at the latest, so I will be able to give you my full attention again.*  I started reading them on Tuesday.  What can I say?  They’re not that long; I read quickly.  At least Edward Cullen and I have one thing in common. 

I confess, I love the Twilight books.  I would call them my guilty pleasure but I feel no guilt and a lot of pleasure.  Some embarrassment, yes: they are a bit Mills & Boon for teenagers.  But Mills & Boon with vampires and werewolves; so less Mills & Boon, more kills and moon.  But what is it with those boys and Bella?  Seriously, that girl never stops crying. 

*Oops!  My secret is out: I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but the heart of a girl, and a girl of thin land, too.  Sue me.

(3)

And, last but not least…that dippy thief returned the alligator to the pet shop from whence he was stolen.  He left him in a cardboard box on the step, the nearest he could get to chasing him away.  A case of crocodile shoos?

Read it here.

 

Joke 287

Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’

The operator says, ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

There is silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, ‘OK, now what?’