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Christmas Killed The Quest For Knowledge

10 Jan

It’s been months since I last shared the searches that find my blog, because 90% of the searches have been for Christmas jokes, or a really fat person smiling.  I’m happy to share the laughter but it makes for dull pickings.

You’ll be glad to hear that hundreds of people still think I know what happened to Gaddafi – though, now, of course, I do.  It’s hardly a secret, is it? 

It wasn’t this: horse falling on a pig

It being the holiday period, I wasn’t surprised to find that quite a few women were looking for dead husband cartoons and what can i have my husband do today.

But I was intrigued by the person looking for ancestor worms 

There were some requests for pictures of old lady eating in a box; I can’t help wondering if they were related to graniessex.  Are people looking to hump wheat, the old lady in TOWIE, or something too infinitely gross to contemplate (that last option might also include the people looking for daftporn and cotton knickers 1950s)?  Whatever, they won’t find it here.  In fact, I’m a little insulted that people think I watch TOWIE.

 

The usual tooth obsession occurred, but this one was new: celebrities teeth; but my favourites were this generic question: what does a 45 year old woman look like and the mind-boggling church of cheese.

 

 

Joke 292

10 Jan

Two men sitting in a kayak were chilly.  They lit a fire in the craft. 

It sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

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